I know I'm on the way to ruining this
My girlfriend and I have been together about 16 months, and we've had a wonderful time. Up until recently she's been calling out some of the things about me that she doesn't appreciate, which i understand. lately we've been having arguments (Mainly me starting them) about stupid things. I myself am a jealous, insecure person, and the kind of person I am i just always think i know whats best. i have also found myself to be controlling at times. i can recognize all of my faults as she'll tell me in an atgument, and i want to work on them because I know she's going to cut it off with me if i dont soon.
even as I'm doing these stupid things, i recognize what i'm doing and how i'm acting.. such as trying to tell her what to do, whats best for her, or getting jealous when she goes to the beach with her friends and some other guys (these guys are my friends too, and i do trust them i'm just always worried) while i'm stuck at work. I find myself being really childish and immature and sometimes I can't help myself but to comment on something she's doing. I don't know how to control these urges.
she does so much for me and sometimes i'm just so ungrateful and selfish. she really is great but i know if i don't smarten up i'm going to lose her and I KNOW THIS but i just don't know how.
sorry this is very poorly written.. i'm at work right now and fairly stressed.. anyway, back at the grind
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also I just want to add that I'm very paranoid. whenever she goes to hangout with friends, I'm always scared that she will talk about me and how I act sometimes. to me, i want to keep our relationship as much of a secret as possible and there have been times where she has gone to her friends for advice, so I'm just worried about her telling them how i act and then that changes what they think of me. I've confronted her about this before and she says she doesn gossip to her friends about me and i believe her but my brain still races whenever she's out and about