Did he lose interest? Or is he just waiting for me to make the move now?

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28-05-14, 12:53 AM
Sweetieheart

Did he lose interest? Or is he just waiting for me to make the move now?

Ok, this guy I like I have been friends with for over a year. He would always express how much he likes me he would say to me all the time "I love you" and one time he even said we were "soulmates" of course I don't believe that, but I am just making the point that he would just always say something. He would always stare at me too. He just always show how much he liked/loved me and even said multiple times to me. Then he invited me to his softball games and I wouldn't go, and then I agreed to go to a game, and then I blew him off and felt bad about it, so then we were texting later in the week and he invited me again to his softball game, and I went. I noticed though he was very normal with me. Not as flirty with me, or huggy or anything. He was just normal with me. But that is how he has been acting towards me lately, just normal, not his usual self with me.

But before that like 2 days prior to his softball game, I kinda got drunk, and he did too, and so I asked him if he was mad at me, and he kept saying over and over "You're my best friend" "You're my favorite person" "I love you so much" and he kept kissing my head and the side of my face, lol. He also kept hugging me very tightly. I don't even know if I should believe him or not. So then he told me to text him when I got home, and I forgot too. So he was texting me to see if I was alright. Then I go to his softball game and he was just normal with me. He is just not his usual self with me like he use to be. He use to be flirty, and hugged me a lot and would say I love you all the time to me, now he doesn't do any of that, so did he lose interest? Or is he just fed up with me? Or is he waiting for me to make the move now? I don't know how to take this. Please comment, thank you.
28-05-14, 01:53 AM
Wakeup

What TF do you want?

Do you want to be his girlfriend or just his friend? Figure out what you want and then make it known.

You brushed him off so many times that if he came to a forum like this I'd have told him to cut you off completely and find someone that wanted to be his girlfriend instead of someone that kept showing him that she did not.
28-05-14, 11:19 AM
smackie9

He's trying to move on because he knows nothing is going to happen with you. He is having a hard time letting go of you but knows he needs to ween himself off you. Why should he give you all this attention with you won't let him shag you.
28-05-14, 11:24 PM
Sweetieheart

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What TF do you want?

Do you want to be his girlfriend or just his friend? Figure out what you want and then make it known.

You brushed him off so many times that if he came to a forum like this I'd have told him to cut you off completely and find someone that wanted to be his girlfriend instead of someone that kept showing him that she did not.

Well I don't know what I want cause I am unsure of his actions. I don't know if he wants me as a girlfriend or what. It's a long story but I was going through a breakup when I met him, and I was in the "I hate men" phase, so everything he was saying and doing I didn't stop him in his tracks cause I didn't think he was serious about what he was saying and such and I didn't really pay attention to it cause I was distraught about my breakup. Anyways now that I am better and starting to trust again, I am willing to date him, but now I don't know if he is interested in me or not. I have no idea. But thanks for commenting!

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Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He's trying to move on because he knows nothing is going to happen with you. He is having a hard time letting go of you but knows he needs to ween himself off you. Why should he give you all this attention with you won't let him shag you.

Yeah, but I have been a extremely good friend to him. Helped him through so many problems, and never judged him and what he did. I just was always there for him when nobody else was. I have proven that I was a good friend to him, and that should be the reason to keep me around cause I have loyalty. But I understand what you're saying. Thanks!
28-05-14, 11:43 PM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetieheart [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well I don't know what I want cause I am unsure of his actions. I don't know if he wants me as a girlfriend or what.

This is not what you want. You're still too concerned with what he wants. It doesn't matter if he wants you to be his gf or not, if you don't want to be his gf then you shut him down and you go on your merry way without him. If YOU do want to be his gf then let it be known that you're into him INSTEAD of shutting him down. Stop wondering what he wants and discuss with yourself what you want.

Quote:

It's a long story but I was going through a breakup when I met him, and I was in the "I hate men" phase, so everything he was saying and doing I didn't stop him in his tracks cause I didn't think he was serious about what he was saying and such and I didn't really pay attention to it cause I was distraught about my breakup. Anyways now that I am better and starting to trust again, I am willing to date him, but now I don't know if he is interested in me or not. I have no idea. But thanks for commenting!

Again you're not concentrating on your own needs. You're leaving it up to him to tell you what you want. You say you'd like to date him so why don't you ask him out on a date?
29-05-14, 01:15 AM
smackie9

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetieheart [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah, but I have been a extremely good friend to him. Helped him through so many problems, and never judged him and what he did. I just was always there for him when nobody else was. I have proven that I was a good friend to him, and that should be the reason to keep me around cause I have loyalty. But I understand what you're saying. Thanks!

When romantic feelings are involved, loyalty doesn't mean jack shit. They want a GF not a loyal friend.

If you want to date him, just tell him. If you don't want to date him, stop whining that he isn't treating you like his GF anymore. He need to move on and find someone who will be his GF.
29-05-14, 03:13 AM
smackie9

Tip: when I gives you THAT much attention, he isn't doing it for the sake of friendship.

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Again here we are dealing with undefined fuzzy boundaries.....