when friends get in the way!

so if you've followed my previous thread: i took your advice! :) well, one of them anyways! :) I let myself loosen up and just go with the flow, things happend. (ok, they happend several times!) :) LOL i don't regret a minute of this weekend, however now another question arose!
How do guys handle a love interest within a close knit friendship circle!??! Should i be wierded out that he is acting as if nothing happend? He did call to check on me, however as we spend a large portion of the weekend together with our other friends, and while in their presence he keeps away from me. No eye contact, nothing! Argh! And then i somehow ended up in his bed with the others one room away the second nite and making sure they didn't overhear anything. I feel almost as if he doesn't want them to know about us, and i don't understand?!? can someone clue me in?! :nerd: Frankly, the fact that he finds me attractive is in itself very flattering and although i wouldn't want to become the ocassional "booty call", nor the whining gf i can't help but wonder why go through the trouble of "seducing" me and then pull away infront of everyone else. grrrrrrr!

If mutual friends are an issue before you guys have even really started anything than I vote this will either be short lived, or end in disaster. Probably both.

Have you ever seen "Friends"? Well its the situation when Monica and Chandler start sleeping together and dating. They keep it a secret for a long time in fear of having any weirdness amongst the group of friends. Plus they aren't sure if its gonna last....and eventually figure out it does. Cuz of course they eventually let everyone know.... Plus Monica's brother is Chandlers close friend. So it is kinda a strange situation.

I think yours is similiar because he doesn't want to get "crap" from all the people in your group of friends. I mean its always strange when friends cross that boundary... Cuz if something bad happens then it can turn out bad because the two of you have some of the same friends. So hes probably just seeing how things go... I wouldn't take it too personal.

But if you start to feel that its just a "booty call" then you need to talk to him. Ask him how he feels about you or if the two of you are just having fun. Or just wait and see what happens ....and then talk to him.

Bottom line.....Talk to him about it.

Hmm, he may well just be thinking about it, guys can be like that sometimes. He may feel that he does not want his friends to know because of certain things such as being teased about it, or he may feel that it might make it akward when you two are around them.

Although I take the optimistic view point that if you have known eachother for awhile then you may well have a long relationship, although bear in mind that often relationships can ruin strong friendships, try to avoid that happening.

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Originally Posted by Airborne

Hmm, he may well just be thinking about it, guys can be like that sometimes. He may feel that he does not want his friends to know because of certain things such as being teased about it, or he may feel that it might make it akward when you two are around them.

Although I take the optimistic view point that if you have known eachother for awhile then you may well have a long relationship, although bear in mind that often relationships can ruin strong friendships, try to avoid that happening.

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The akwardness factor is definately there as the others treat me as a younger sister.

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Originally Posted by Ellynn

Bottom line.....Talk to him about it.

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ELLYNN: I am planning on it. But as things are still pretty fresh, i think i need to wait it out. I have seen the "friends" you are refering to. Therein lies my hope for the best. Plus, he did admit (under the influence of a couple of drinks!) that his liked me from the first time we met! I am not naive i understand that might have been done/said on purpose but i live in hope! :)

Yeah I know its pretty awkward....at least I imagine so....

People usually speak the truth when drunk. I know I do....I was pretty blunt the other nite....or so Im told.....when I was out drinking....:)

Sounds good....but he probably feels its fresh as well....and doesn't want to let everyone know right away.....

you need to talk to this bloke? you can be intimate but not talk girl you have things the wrong way round! talking should have occured before any intimacy! how can you be intimate with someone you cant talk to? unless you planned a one night stand?

there are the possible scenarios stated above but its is also possible he used you big time!

Blah!----"I feel almost as if he doesn't want them to know about us, and i don't understand?!? can someone clue me in?!"

He doesn't want the others to know. That's obvious. Why....? He's just not ready to go public with it. You're sure about him, so you wouldn't mind the others knowing. But he's not sure about you, so for the time being he'de rather keep it under wraps.