I fell in love with my friend

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15-08-05, 02:32 PM
niceguy01

I fell in love with my friend

Hi all, new here

This looks like a great board here, full of very helpful advice! So, I'm hoping I could get some for my situation. Ok, here goes.

I'm 25 years old. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, been rejected by alot of girls. Now, I met this one girl through a friend of mine, and I've known her for over a year now. She dated my friend for a couple of months, it didn't go anywhere. However, about a month and a half ago, I fell in love with her. I told my friend about this, he has absolutely no problem about my feelings.

We have been hanging out quite frequently, I see her almost every day. She seems to enjoy our time together. The problem is, I want to take this to the next level, but I don't know how to approach this. I’ve been dropping subtle hints (for example, opening the door to my car when we go out, buying her lunch and movie tickets once in a while, etc…)

The biggest problem is trying to figure out if she has mutual feelings for me. Is there any hints I should be looking for? Things I’ve noticed: we went to a movie once, right after I started having feelings for her, and I noticed her glancing over at me once in a while. Is this a sign? Also, she doesn’t seem to mind me getting close to her when we go out dancing, although I’ve not touched her except from a hug here and there.

Second, how do I go about asking her out? Do I buy her flowers? I’ve had a lot of problems with girls before, and I’m really scared because I don’t want to get rejected again. Oh yeah, another thing is I get very nervous when I’m with her, I’m scared I’m going to screw something up.

To be honest, I wish I didn’t have any feelings for her. Too much pain from girls in the past. I don’t have much confidence.

Sorry about the long first post, but I hope someone can help me out.

Thanks
15-08-05, 03:41 PM
Ellynn

I just wouldnt think so far into it and just go for it. I mean the worst she can say is no....I dont like you like that. It happens. Rejection happens. But eventually you won't be rejected and it will all go well. You have to at least try....

I'm going on yet another blind date tomorrow. Yes Im nervous but u know what helps me? I just try not to think too far into it. I'm just gonna go on the date and see what happens. No expectations. Worse that can happen is that hes not attracted or Im not.... Nothing to lose....alot to gain.

But seeing she is your friend you might have something to lose...but if shes a true friend then she will be nice about it.

Go for it or you will never know!
15-08-05, 03:59 PM
niceguy01

Thanks for the reply Ellynn!

I want to go for it, but not too sure how. Should I just ask? Or should I try some casual touching, like maybe going to hold her hand, or put my arm around her, stuff like that?
15-08-05, 04:01 PM
Ellynn

You can try by putting your arm around her playfully or reaching for her hand.....and just see how she reacts. Its a subtle approach but she will get the message. Its all about how she reacts.... If shes ok with it....she will let it happen....if not then she will let u know... Then when u feel its right just tell her how u feel....
15-08-05, 04:03 PM
Junket

Subtle hints like opening the door for her and payin' for her...are you sure there's nothin' that says "I love you" more than opening a car door?
15-08-05, 04:10 PM
Ellynn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Subtle hints like opening the door for her and payin' for her...are you sure there's nothin' that says "I love you" more than opening a car door?

yeah true.....if a guy friend of mine did that for me I would definately think something is up..... I think she already suspects herself....but try something more to get it out there more.... if she turns you down then at least you tried.
15-08-05, 04:17 PM
Junket

Question Ellynn, what are you doin' up this late?
15-08-05, 04:27 PM
Ellynn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Question Ellynn, what are you doin' up this late?

I'm always up late....lol. You?
15-08-05, 04:30 PM
Junket

I'm usually up this late but I tried to go to bed early today without success. I was hopin' to get an early start but it looks like I'll be in bed till 1pm again.

Do you work?
15-08-05, 04:39 PM
Ellynn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

I'm usually up this late but I tried to go to bed early today without success. I was hopin' to get an early start but it looks like I'll be in bed till 1pm again.

Do you work?

Yes I work....but I'm off today. (Thank God) And I don't have much planned other then working out and then going on a blind date. Fun Fun.
15-08-05, 04:43 PM
Junket

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellynn

Yes I work....but I'm off today. (Thank God) And I don't have much planned other then working out and then going on a blind date. Fun Fun.

Workin' out is definitely somethin' I should get in the habit of before I ship out to South Carolina but probably won't.

Oh and be sure to keep us posted on this blind date.

We want details.

On that note, I'm going to try to get some sleep.
15-08-05, 04:51 PM
Ellynn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frasbee

Workin' out is definitely somethin' I should get in the habit of before I ship out to South Carolina but probably won't.

Oh and be sure to keep us posted on this blind date.

We want details.

On that note, I'm going to try to get some sleep.

Yeah its good to do...and I feel so much better afterwards....

I'll keep you posted. If it sucks then Im probably not gonna write much. But hey......at least I'll see the "wedding crashers" finally.....

Goodnight!