My Girlfriend feels we're moving to fast, opinions?

Hi there,

So me and my Girlfriend have been officially together for 1 month, and seeing each other for 2. This situation arose when I spent 5 days at her house prior to this we had only been seeing each other 2-3 times a week for at most meeting in the evening and then spending the night together and the following day. Since I got home from her house she said she felt uncomfortable and nervous and felt that our relationship is moving fast and serious, I did notice that she was seeming a bit off after the first 2 days together (The first 2 days being what we both agreed were great). Our relationship is semi long distance as we can't really afford to see each other for just a day or 2 at the moment.
From what I can gather she has had a lot of bad past relationships so I'm thinking maybe it's just the paranoia of it reoccurring and making sure she doesn't end up in one again, but at the back of my mind I can't help but think she's wanting to end it.

Would appreciate any honest replies and opinions about what she might be thinking.

Thanks!

Don't overthink this. It is exactly what she says it is... Your moving too fast and she's a bit overwhelmed.

I was in a similar situation before and it's exactly what chinagirl said. Things are just movin too fast for her. It doesn't mean she doesn't want to date u anymore just that she wants to take things slower.

Thanks for the replies, I've cut down the amount that I talk to her so that she can have some more space to think, hopefully that will help the situation somewhat.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Accss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi there,

So me and my Girlfriend have been officially together for 1 month, and seeing each other for 2. This situation arose when I spent 5 days at her house prior to this we had only been seeing each other 2-3 times a week for at most meeting in the evening and then spending the night together and the following day. Since I got home from her house she said she felt uncomfortable and nervous and felt that our relationship is moving fast and serious, I did notice that she was seeming a bit off after the first 2 days together (The first 2 days being what we both agreed were great). Our relationship is semi long distance as we can't really afford to see each other for just a day or 2 at the moment.
From what I can gather she has had a lot of bad past relationships so I'm thinking maybe it's just the paranoia of it reoccurring and making sure she doesn't end up in one again, but at the back of my mind I can't help but think she's wanting to end it.

Would appreciate any honest replies and opinions about what she might be thinking.

Thanks!

---

Doesn't matter whether or not your think she's wrong. If she's uncomfortable, she's uncomfortable. You've got a few choices:

1. Abide by her wishes.
2. Decide that you can't abide by her wishes, break up with her and find someone else.
3. Attempt to work out a compromise.

All of these things will require direct and open communication, which is something at least she and possibly you have a problem with - she said she "felt uncomfortable and nervous and felt that our relationship is moving fast and serious", but not to your face... she waited for you to get home. Additionally, you noticed she seemed off, but didn't say anything.

Ouch, the moving too fast talk... :S

The worst thing that you can do is freak out about something she DIDN'T say (that she wants to end it). Since she didn't say it, you can't assume that; you need to trust her words just as she said them- at face value. If you don't, you're going to push her away, and then she will say she wants to end it.

Just relax; consider her positive reasoning for telling you that she's uncomfortable... She obviously wouldn't have given you the chance to slow down if she didn't want to continue trying. She obviously wants to protect the relationship if she only wants things to slow down- not just protect herself by leaving. And she's communicating how she feels- another good sign..

So, don't allow your mind to run away with fantasy. :S I know it's tough, but you need to buckle down and abide by her wishes- not daydream about the "what if's." Believe me, I've been there...save yourself the heart attack by accepting her words as the truth and save the relationship by granting her the personal space she needs.

Quote:

---

My Girlfriend feels we're moving to fast, opinions?

---

Yes. Slow down.

(PM me for the address to send the cheque to...)

Well turns out she was thinking and now has ended it. Shame really everything was amazing until we had to move semi far away... but thanks for the support guys.