I'm in love with a good friend of mine.
I asked her out and because I'm awkward and have no idea how to do stuff to show my love I kind of turned her off.
We are still good friends and she is still open to a relationship, but I need to learn how to be charming.
I'm not scared to flirt and stuff, but I don't know how. Literally. I don't know how/when/where/what to do/say/touch/show in any and all situations in order to show my interest. Does a how-to guide exist that covers all situations?
You must stop over thinking and simply do what comes naturally. Everyone gets nervous butterflies when courting; this is a beautiful part of courtship so let it flow; just let it flow. Follow your instincts; treat her well and always remember that just because women embrace the liberation movement doesn't mean they don't appreciate a healthy dose of chivalrous intent; meaning, a lady must be treated like a lady.
Don't over think your every move when your with her, just breath, relax and enjoy the time shared.
wikihow can show you lots on basic flirting. Of course, you have to come up with your own but it's not a bad idea to read about flirting online because the good websites use psychology and not misogynist generalizing nonsense..
But that's just it, I don't have any "natural instincts." I cannot do what comes naturally because nothing comes naturally.Quote:
Originally Posted by woody [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
EVERYONE has natural instincts. Every living creature has this. Every.
And yes you most certainly 'can' do what comes naturally. You may be like many of us, awkward but please don't think for one moment that your alone with this. Imagine, most of us around you have our very own socially awkward feelings that can be very challenging.
Chances are this young lady is just as nervous as you are.
One must get their feet wet if one wishes to swim.
You must take some steps and once the ball is rolling you may find those 'natural instincts' start kicking in a little more.
I see...
What are some things I can do to show my feelings?
How about date locations?
I was thinking of buying her a single red rose for the next date... good idea?
^^ A rose is a lovely idea. And depending on what your both into, many ladies do enjoy an evening out starting with dinner but do it somewhere you'd both be comfy in, nothing over the top, just cozy with good music and not so loud you can't hear each other.
Just go with the flow and follow your gut. Ask her about questions about herself. Chivalry, all that. Smile and stay bright.
good luck
Also, if you feel nervous and don't know how to do you can tell her, I think that's very sweet, because I like sweet guys. it is good to knoe the other one is just as nervous as you are and that gives you more confidence, you can touch her without being obvious, her arm, her back, her waist.
To me charming also means be a good listener and at times say things back you remembered she has said so she knows you do listen and care about what she says.
Flirty joking can be helpful too if not too sexual or over the top.
Movies, lunch date, or brunch date is good, sometimes dinner dates can be expensive the other two cost less if you end up paying for you both.
A single flower she likes is good, does she like roses, not all girls do. Red means love in roses.