i keep questioning my love

i have been dating my current boyfriend for nealy 12 months! i fell head over heals in love with him even though he is 19 years older than me! i had been single for 2 years and was enjoying single life. he came along i wasnt interested in him for ages we were friends but then he showed his interest in me we started dating and i fell for him big time!

we both fell in love we both said this is the one! however we have had problems! his ex was still living in his house they are good friends! it took me ages to come to terms with it! everyone knows about us except her who i believe knows just doesnt want to admit it!

know i have always had a problem with this because i feel like she is hanging around incase he still wants her! they are waiting for the sale of the house becasue they both obviously want thier share!

anyway its starting to get me down but not in the way you would expect! i went through the whole jealousy thing and now im going through the whole i dont care thing! we plan to live together but i just keep asking myself is this what i really want! i feel let down by him because his house sale hasnt gone through sooner! not so much that but more that he hasnt done anything about it! i just expect more from him even though logically i know he cant give more because if he moved out and lived with me while they wait for the house sale he still has to pay his half of the mortgage! we cant afford to do that and she cant afford to keep the house on on her own!

anyway i just keep saying to myself i dont care anymore i cant wait anymore i want out!

but then when i spend time with him those feelings go away! until im on my own again

Wow...
Please excuse me for what I am about to say. Im very sorry to put it to you this way. I really am.

Seems like all this man wants is some young ass..... Ask his "EX" does she even know that you two are together.

What are you're ages. I mean, if you're 21 I agree with COAD. but if you're 35-40, I could side with your bf. I don't know why he wouldn't tell his wife though.

Funny, I'm going thru the same thing as you're boyfriend, kinda. although I don't have a younger gf, or a gf at all.

Well.......sounds like you really care about him. Although the ex in the pic would kinda throw me off if I was in your situation. Are there kids involved?

Anyways....if you really do love him......then try waiting it out some more. Even though I know selling a house can sometimes be a long ordeal.....I find it hard to believe its been like 12 months and no bites.

Are you sure there is nothing going on with his ex and him? If there is you need to know. If you have been around or he has been going out with you...Im sure she knows about you. She probably just doesn't say much...since honestly she really can't..since they aren't married anymore.

If you feel comfortable with waiting it out....I say do that. Then see how things are after the house gets sold. If things are crappy...then dump him and move on.

If you don't feel comfortable waiting it out.....then just be true to yourself and let him know that the arrangement isnt working for you......and see what he does about it. If he does nothing then find someone else... There are alot of people out there....

Brokensmile----"his ex was still living in his house they are good friends! it took me ages to come to terms with it! everyone knows about us except her who i believe knows just doesnt want to admit it!"

An ex who still lives in his house is more than just a good friend. He hasn't finished with her.

Thats not always true. My parents got divorced when I was 14 and for awhile they didn't talk. Then after awhile they became friends. My dad's gf was not at all bothered by it...... My dad simply thought it was good to remain friends for the sake of us....and also my mom was having some health problems. So its possible

Sorry, to be blunt, but what I am telling you is the truth.

19 years is too big an age gap. He is either not appropriately mature for his age (in which case you will outgrow him in a few years, assuming you are still maturing) or he is using you for a piece of young ass, and after all, why shouldn't he? You are willing to sleep with him despite the fact that he is living with his wife. And I wouldn't be so impressed that all his friends know about you. You are making HIM look like a stud, but YOU get to look like the trophy girlfriend who will not be taken seriously by anyone in his age range. Also, I doubt he is completely done with his wife. Why don't you ask her?

she is not his wife! and if you think i am that shallow that im am sleeping with him if i doubt they are together! i know damn well they are not together i have spoke to her about it! she knows he is with someone she just doesnt know its me because quite frankly it would be rubbing the salt in the wound! she is 34 has no family and nowhere to live they need to sell the house so she has some money to move on, on her own! they were together for 12 years! i completely understand this! she has depended on him for so long she has admitted that it is hard moving on after such a long time! she gets upset that he no longer loves her! that is understandable but she plans to move on!


i think everyone missed my point!i am not in anyway worried about his relationship with her! i am just worried that my feelings for him have diminshed and weather this is because of the situation or not? i keep thinking it will be fine when we can just move in together and spend our time together but my real question was if im having doubts now is it time to pull out!

but anyway since i posted this we have had a fantastic weekend together and proving that we get through this!

this will be a life lesson weather it turns out great or not!

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Originally Posted by shh!

Sorry, to be blunt, but what I am telling you is the truth.

19 years is too big an age gap. He is either not appropriately mature for his age (in which case you will outgrow him in a few years, assuming you are still maturing) or he is using you for a piece of young ass, and after all, why shouldn't he? You are willing to sleep with him despite the fact that he is living with his wife. And I wouldn't be so impressed that all his friends know about you. You are making HIM look like a stud, but YOU get to look like the trophy girlfriend who will not be taken seriously by anyone in his age range. Also, I doubt he is completely done with his wife. Why don't you ask her?

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im sorry but i also disagree about the age gap! i dont see what age has got to do with it! we both want the same things out of life we have an awful lot in common! how can it be a problem?

Sorry my lady but the age gap is a problem and youll find out sooner than you may believe at the moment. And if its not right now it will become when years pass.. no sorry but even though he were the one for you age difference just puts in your way hinderings you cannot get over. 19 years is definitely too much.. and I dont get either why he cant come to stay with you and continuing paying for the house? hes gonna pay it anyway so its same no?

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Originally Posted by MajorGlory

Sorry my lady but the age gap is a problem and youll find out sooner than you may believe at the moment. And if its not right now it will become when years pass.. no sorry but even though he were the one for you age difference just puts in your way hinderings you cannot get over. 19 years is definitely too much.. and I dont get either why he cant come to stay with you and continuing paying for the house? hes gonna pay it anyway so its same no?

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he cant stay with me where i am at the moment as i live in a house share i cant afford to support us both and he cant afford to pay two rents! i.e his mortgage and a new rent

Trust me on the age gap. I speak from experience.

please elaborate?

Again, we are left confused---how old are YOU, broken_smile?