I will try to keep this short, because I know some people hate long threads and I want everyone to read this.
I recently moved and needed a job quickly, so I took a morning shift at Winn Dixie being a stocker. The pay was crap, and I didn't get full time, but it was money for the time being. I met this woman (the assistant manager) named Vallery. She was the night closer, and I closed with her a few times a week (morning stock wasnt the only thing I did, obviously :p), and we hit it off. She was intellegent, funny, beautiful, everything I look for in a woman. Well, the time came for a new job, and it was much much better than Winn Dixie, so I took it, and moved on. I occationally thought about Vallery, but not nearly as much as I do now. Let me explain.
I walked in one afternoon to buy some groceries, and I ran into her. She was like "hey stranger, how are you?!" and again, we hit it off, making each other laugh, and I wound up staying in the store with her until they closed...helping her do her nightly chores and such. Afterwords, she wanted to see where I lived, so she followed me home. I invited her inside, and we just hung out, watched tv, and had a good time. This happened every day for almost a month, and it eventually turned into us making out, and doing other naughty things (no sex, was close, but I won't go into detail). I found myself falling in love with this woman, but...she is 32 years old, and I am 20. I'm a mature man, and I can handle a 32 year old, there's no doubt in my mind, but...
She's married, with children. I knew it from the start, and did my absolute best to hold back from kissing her that fateful night...but she wanted it so badly, I could tell. She talked about having sex with me when her husband went out of town, and I was all for it, I fell in love with her. I found myself thinking about her all day, everyday. I blinded myself from the fact that she was married, and I let myself fall deeper into it. Well, it came to the point of her feeling guilty of doing the things we did, and in a way, I did too, because I felt like I pressured her into it, in one way or another. I asked the guys I work with for advice, and they all told me to "let her go" but I am-was, honestly in love with her...and I told her that.
One night, she was over, and she told me she didnt wanna fool around anymore. I was fine with that, but I had decided being friends wasnt good enough, because there will ALWAYS be that attraction to her, and holding back would almost be impossible for me. I walked her out when she told me that, and I told her we shouldn't call each other anymore, or even see each other. She cried and I told her I loved her and closed the door. She called me the next morning asking me to explain why I did what I did, and she agreed it was the right choice.
Well she calls me a few days later and asks me to go out with her, and I told myself I'd refuse, but I just couldnt, I've never felt like this about a woman.
Since that night, I havnt called her, or received a call from her, and I hope I don't get the urge to call her, or she calls me, because it makes it worse. I find myself putting myself in situations to see or speak to her, and I really need to stop.
I need some advice on what I can do to get her off my mind. I realize there's absolutely nothing I can do to make her mine, and in all honesty, I was probably just an attention fix for her, but I really need to get over her.
Any tips are appreciated :)
