-
Ended 3year fwb!
Here's my story - we met at a bar my bro-n-law works at. I wasn't even supposed to go out that nite but we met through him, started talking, hooking up & 3years later we are here! In beginning we had talk about wanting more, didn't happen so I ended first time after over 2yrs of fwb. I literally told him not to call me anymore! I was out for my bday like 4mos later i was out for my bday & I get an out of the blue text from him...like nothing had happened! Of course he apologized for texting but he did it again & when I didn't answer he started to call until I finally answered. He practically begged me to come pick him up ... I did! I know I gave in. We talked little about me being mad & that's why I ended things, he said sorry & from that nite on we started up again. He was contacting more frequently whether I replied back or not. We saw each other once & if he got his way sometimes twice a week. I have to admit our sex is amazing, I enjoyed hearing from him, seeing him. However, I never brought up me wanting more then what he was giving this time & idk why I didn't??? Yes I have feelings for him so I know I was afraid & I would loose him. Anyway fast fwd 5mos later ... After receiving two disrespectful texts, calling him out on them, him apologizing left & right, I decided I deserve better! Those texts showed me how he must see me & I decided that I can't do this anymore! I told him after 3yrs nothing has come from us, no serious dates, not meeting families & I don't want this anymore. I told him I wish him well & goodbye! I just wanted to end this agony I allowed myself to be in w/ him. He replied by saying he's been a jerk, he's sorry & I do deserve better. That our sex is amazing, he'll miss me, it's best if he deletes my number & to call if I ever need him. WTH??? I don't know how to take his response ... Can you guys help me here! I know I did right thing for me cause did he really expect me to be his fwb for another 3yrs? What do you guys think he's thinking ... Thx!
-
I think he's thinking that he got what he wanted AGAIN (uncommitted sex) and that now that its become kind of routine with you again he's stepping away at your request.
You're a very foolish to the point of needing help to get over your addiction to him if you don't block and delete him because that is the only way you'll have the strength to rehab from your drug of choice called " Fvck Buddy. You're not even friends with benefits if he does nothing but fk you.
Take back your self-respect and delete and block him from all ways of reaching you. If you keep allowing him in your life, calling it off and being indignant when he doesn't come running for you then get yourself some therapy to figure out why sex with an asshole is more important to you then your overall emotional health and self-respect.
Be good to you.
-
What exactly is so confusing? He appears to be backing off which is what you wanted, but has left the door open for you in case you change your mind. I suggest this time that you don't change your mind.
-
Thats what players and love-avoidants do. They keep the door open to the naive, low self-esteemed and insecure women that will invite him back through that unlocked door even though she asked for what she wants and it's been made clear to her that he ain't going to deliver.
Grow from him by making it impossible for you to invite him in like the Vampire he is. Do you have the strength to keep yourself broken up with him or are you that naive and insecure, self-esteem lacking female that Players gravitate to?
-
You are right on ... I don't know why I'm not good to myself in the sense of knowing I'm worthy of an amazing man that gives me 100% of himself each day! My actions have to, NEED to, back up what I tell him & I don't want this to become routine w/ us. I equated amazing sex w/ him the past 3years w/ he'll eventually want more ... A relationship! I can't do this to myself anymore & I'm learning to love myself more than ever right now!
Thanks for your honesty :)
-
Post here if you start to cave and we'll help you to get over your temporary weakness.
Each day you are away from him after having accepted that this is never going to go further then the status quo, you will get stronger and stronger and he will become indifferent to you.
You need the indifference to him in order to form a healthy relationship with a good man that will satisfy you in all ways. He's out there but you've been far too pre-occupied with your part-time lover to notice him.
Congratulations on taking step No. 1 ~ "Acceptance."