We broke up, I slept with someone, my fault?

I was in an Long distance relationship, and in the last few months I felt it drifting to an end after having a long period without seeing each other. He did not have time for me anymore, and he was going out with girls every night to night clubs. This made me very jealous and paranoid, but he brushed it off as work, said I was 'mentally sick' to think these things, and I believed him.

However, one day I was told by a third party, that he was kissing and getting too close with those girls in night clubs. I got very upset, did not think to ask him first if it was true, and just confronted him over skype. He lost it, told me I was insane, and said the words 'you are not my girlfriend anymore, I am going to block you from everything'. And he did. Facebook, Imessage, Skype, everything.

I thought it was over. I thought I would never see him again (as he lives in another country anyway). I thought the best thing would be to forget him ASAP. But I didn't know how to do this. I will be judged for this, but, the next day I found myself seeking comfort and company in the form of another ex boyfriend.

Yes, I had sex with my ex. The day after my other ex dumped me. I knew it was a cheap thing to do, but it made me feel good, for a little while.

BUT, a few weeks later, my LDR ex got back in contact, and he was angry with me for making no effort in getting him back. Apparently, the break up and blocking, was all a punishment. He was punishing me for my 'behaviour', confronting him about other girls. He would then message me occasionally, and blamed me for everything that went wrong.

Then, he changed his picture to him hugging a girl in a nightclub. I lost it, believing that it was true about him cheating on me before. I was spiteful and told him that I didn't care about these girls, as I have already been with someone else. He then said I have CHEATED on him, and that his mother was right about telling him not to trust me (i've never met the woman), and that I have made him so upset, as I go and sleep with another man after a fight, meaning im not wife material. But, he admitted that he has been getting with a few girls in night clubs, just hasn't slept with any of them, but now he told me he will 'fcuk girls every night'.

He now has said he will never speak to me again, which is probably a good thing. But I wonder, was I the wrong person in this? I always blame myself, and would like another opinion

I'm not sure either of you was "wrong" per say....

you were in it long distance and it was wrong of him to be out with other girls, kissing them and such.
he reacted like an idiot when you asked him if he was cheating, and perhaps you went about it in a harsh way, I dont know.
yes you could have waited longer before having sex with your other ex, but he has no right to say you cheated since he said you were over and that he was going to block you.
btw. him blocking you is very childish, how old is he?
so I'd say you both did some stuff wrong and therefore neither of you is the "losing party" so you should just get over it and move on... it's not worth thinking about it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by rainingstars [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was in an Long distance relationship, and in the last few months I felt it drifting to an end after having a long period without seeing each other. He did not have time for me anymore, and he was going out with girls every night to night clubs. This made me very jealous and paranoid, but he brushed it off as work, said I was 'mentally sick' to think these things, and I believed him.

However, one day I was told by a third party, that he was kissing and getting too close with those girls in night clubs. I got very upset, did not think to ask him first if it was true, and just confronted him over skype. He lost it, told me I was insane, and said the words 'you are not my girlfriend anymore, I am going to block you from everything'. And he did. Facebook, Imessage, Skype, everything.

I thought it was over. I thought I would never see him again (as he lives in another country anyway). I thought the best thing would be to forget him ASAP. But I didn't know how to do this. I will be judged for this, but, the next day I found myself seeking comfort and company in the form of another ex boyfriend.

Yes, I had sex with my ex. The day after my other ex dumped me. I knew it was a cheap thing to do, but it made me feel good, for a little while.

BUT, a few weeks later, my LDR ex got back in contact, and he was angry with me for making no effort in getting him back. Apparently, the break up and blocking, was all a punishment. He was punishing me for my 'behaviour', confronting him about other girls. He would then message me occasionally, and blamed me for everything that went wrong.

Then, he changed his picture to him hugging a girl in a nightclub. I lost it, believing that it was true about him cheating on me before. I was spiteful and told him that I didn't care about these girls, as I have already been with someone else. He then said I have CHEATED on him, and that his mother was right about telling him not to trust me (i've never met the woman), and that I have made him so upset, as I go and sleep with another man after a fight, meaning im not wife material. But, he admitted that he has been getting with a few girls in night clubs, just hasn't slept with any of them, but now he told me he will 'fcuk girls every night'.

He now has said he will never speak to me again, which is probably a good thing. But I wonder, was I the wrong person in this? I always blame myself, and would like another opinion

---

Yes... you are in the wrong... You should NEVER have talked to him again after he blocked and deleted you. You should have the self-restraint to not fk ex boyfriends when you are in an argument or breaking up and have the self-respect to not do what you've done over a player who is about as mature as my 8 year old nephew.

You are in the wrong for trying to maintain a long distance relationship with an asshole and then running to an ex asshole to get your fweeelings unhurt.

You will be not only wrong but as foolish as hell if you ever talk to any man you've had sex with in the last year but is no longer your boyfriend. That adds up to TWO that we are aware of.

He doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore and even if he contacts you again, he's not respecting you so respect yourself and don't talk to him again and don't run into the arms of ex assholes either. Learnt to self-sooth by volunteering in a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter or a mental hospital so that you learn that you're not so bad off (compared to the poor souls in those situations) that you need to create OR ACCEPT drama like this ever again.

Time to grow up and learn from this dreadful so called relationship. Block and delete him... there is nothing immature about doing that in order to fully get over someone who is an "asshole."