Is she really committed?

Hi all, Im very interested to hear others opinions of this.....

I was engaged to a girl when we were 19. It was fantastic, we had a fight, she moved away with her family, we lived our lives apart. Our paths crossed again 14 years later and we realized we want to be together so she told her husband their relationship is over, and began visiting me on the other side of the country. He knows about me but is very determined to keep her. He works away a lot so when he comes back she visits me on the other side of the country for a week and then comes back before he goes back off to work. He is in the process of moving out of their home but it hasn't happened yet. Now for the situation....

Very recently they lost their 18 month old baby to SIDS. This has devastated her and her entire family. I desperately want to be there to support her but she doesn't want me to be over there with her as she claims to be worried about arguing between myself and the father. She refuses to answer her phone when he is around it is very difficult to keep strong communication with her. She is very hesitant to even text me when he is around, but I know he knows about me. I proposed to her recently and she accepted but she wont tell him we are engaged. I gave her an engagement ring but she wont wear it in front of him. I just want to be there for her in this terrible time and feel left out and hidden. It seems his feelings are more important than mine and I am worried she doesn't really want to commit to me. I am planning on moving over there to be with her and she claims to be happy with that but hiding our engagement and communication is really bothering me. Im I wrong for feeling like there is something not quite right or should I just wait until he has moved out like she suggests and all will be fine? When I am with her our relationship is fantastic. Please tell me what you make of this. I love her very much.

She is going through trauma and the second point is that she hasn't left yet. She won't leave - she has no reason to do so. She has her cake and her pie on the side. I would think this move.

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also - if you have to wonder if she's committed, she's most likely not.

Why would she tell the husband she lives with that she's engaged to another guy? She's currently cheating. Add to that the fact that both of them have lost their baby...and now you sweep in during a time that is extremely depressing for a mother and father. If you think she's thinking clearly, you're wrong. It might be nice for her to escape by visiting you every now and then - she gets to leave all that depressing stuff behind for a while and act like all is okay. But it's not. Surely you can piece things together.

When she's legitimately separated from her husband, then step in. Until then, you're her piece on the side and the ring you bought her is just metal.