Need to let her go! :(

I lost the most precious thing in my life. She thought I was trying to use her and didn't have respect for her. She misunderstood my attempts to make her feel good about herself with over the top compliments as mockery.

There are so many things about this girl that I love it will be impossible to let her go. It is better for her if I stop communicating with her because I have issues and I really bother her, but even if I don't talk to her anymore, my heart can never stop longing for her.

Oh God, just to receive an email from her where she said something positive about our friendship would make me happy for the rest of the day.

The girls that I want don't want me though she did call me hottie, sexy, sweetie, cutie, and at one point said I was the sweetest and cutest boy ever, so I think at one time she wanted me. But it is Soooo over and done with. She even destroyed her gmail account so that I can't email her and she left an online forum because of my attempts to reconcile with her there.

The girls that come on to me typically have nothing attractive about their personality and often I have a repugnance for them and they usually are ugly :horror:

This girl (well lady, she's 33 I'm 27) is so damn cute and sexy, works out a lot, has a good libido (though we haven't had sex), talks candidly about her sexuality, and knows how to have a good time. I'll miss her :(