lookin for opinions for long distance relationship

Hello to everyone

I ve been with one girl almost 2 years now. We have so called long distance relation ship.
We are usually together 6 – 7 months in year an apart 5-6 months. Planning for marriage and
future together seriously.

Our start was like fairytale everything was amazing an she was really sweet an lovely ( she still is)
we travel to meet each other regurarly an most time we spent apart is about 2 months periods.

Lately things has become harder an fights more common than before. I know some reason is that
crush an feeling of fallin in love is always strong in the begin of relationship.
Anyway i found out some time ago about that she have lied to me an keeping touch with some ex an saw some sms which was clear booty text. We fight about it an things got pretty bad an i also
made stupid thing after that. Few months was like we was on the edge but we talked an pretty honestly we got over it and things were good. . Until time came for beeing apart again. I flyed back an pretty soon tension between us increased she started going out every weekend an get herself high like for real. Drinkin till morning. She also forgots callin if she had said i call u back soon then after no calls she just said sorry bbe i forgot. I became moody an started complainig which leaded us in sitution that she of course feel like it was boring to call an talk with coz i been moody. I tryed explain that i didnt like this drinkin thing an explained how these forget things effects on me. So we fight alot that time of apart an when she came to visit here everything was
pretty good again. But another ex of her was try to call her an i got curious an asked what was this about then she told she had adream about him an an thought she call him an ask how is he. I asked
was this only call or was it like more … she told she dont remeber how much but few callins then i aske her can i see what u been chatin she told she already delete msgs an things for protectin me coz we been having tension an coz i had been moody. An those calls was in the same time period when we had fights.
Now we been apart again but this time only for month an the drinkin things pop up right after she got back. An i been moody coz its same thing till morning hours.

I have express my feelings an said for me its really hard to trust you an its not acceptable to hide or lie things. She said she understand an will earn the trust back and will be more open an honest.

My problem is that i expect too much. I am expecting of sharing things especially when we are apart. An i share my things here even small stupid irrelavant thigns od my doings. An exåect same from her too much. I believe that sharing is caring an when u are open an honest there is better chance for makin long distance relationship work. Other problem is this drinkin thing its not so much about going out but drinkin like there is no tomorrow she been askin whats so bad about it an i dont know how to answer i just dont like it it makes me uncomfortable an her opinoin is coz i am too much insecure. Yes mayby it is.

Do I love her? I do with out any doupt i love her much an i know she loves me too. The sitution just seem to be blocked an hard to open it. I will meet her after few weeks again an still palning to marry her an work for this relationhip.

'I know i am not perfect an easy person and i am not expecting life with out fighting or fairtale relationship. I am +40 an she is 30-

just askin opinions ad advices for unblocked things.

I don't get what you mean by 30- but if you mean she's thirty or close to it, then this woman is a mess. Talking to multiple exes, loves partying. Really this is the woman you want to marry? It's not going to end well. She's not commited to you. Alcohol and fun is more important than you. It's not love.