help!having affair+fallen for other guy-sorry its long!

firstly, please try NOT to judge me, i know what i've done is wrong but there are LOTS of reasons i've done what i've done-please try and understand

Basically i've been with my partner 10 years and we have children together...i fell out of love with him many years ago (he's selfish and is emotional abusive-there are also LOTS of other reasons)and i was just about to leave when he found out he was seriously ill and i've ended up staying-my partner thinks the whole world revolves around him and i have to give up my entire life for him, and because his life is over then so is mine:sad2:...I have never cheated in the 10 years we've been together but in the last month I've got really attached to a lovely guy who i'm sleeping with basically!...I did all the chasing and he knew from the word go that i had a fella and that i didn't love him but would definitely finish things to be with him(when my partner was better in a month or two)

O.k i don't need people telling me cheating on my partner is wrong, i just need some advice on the other guy, as i can't get my head around him!after our first date at his house, he text me VERY frequently and then after a day or two said he didn't want me to end my relationship as ''he didn't know what he wanted''...o.k over the next week, i put him out of my mind and then suddenly the guy started texting and ringing me again, and this time i've got really hooked on him!I met him again, and we got on like a house on fire, he was lovely but said what we were doing to my partner was making him feel terrible-and i explained in a month or two when my partner was better i was finishing the relationship, and he said o.k, do that and we'll see what happens!....fast forward to the next day and the fella is saying ignore what he said as he was drunk!....I really like this guy and i understand him been cagey about not wanting to get into a relationship with me but i feel like its maybe something more?like he doesn't like me that much or whatever....I'm not his usual type of girl but ive been nothing but nice to him-and he says he appreciates that as no-one has ever been as kind to him as i have!
he also texts me very very frequently, so why would he do that if i was just sex to him..i don't get it!?....he also sleeps with other women, which i DO understand in a way as i can't give him a relationship right now
I've got in way over my head with him and i love him, but i don't know if its the cheating thing that's holding him back or if he's just not into me

PLEASE HELP

Can you read back what you wrote and honestly think that this guy wants to be with you past the sex? You're an easy lay and he'll never trust you to be a good lifemate because you're a cheater.

Do get some personal therapy for your codependency and inability to leave a man that does not make you happy yet you will leave him if you think there is some other chump waiting so you don't have to be alone with yourself.

You're lusting and you mistake it for love and he plays you while he screws other women. I hope you've made him wear protection. Get yourself checked and for goodness sake when he dumps you and you remain in your codependent marriage, make sure you don't pass any STI/STD's onto your spouse.

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BTW: You should leave your "partner" but you shouldn't leave him for a man that will **** you knowing that you're in a relationship. That would be you jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

Work on your personal boundaries so that you improve on your self-worth.