Choosing between Fiance and Family
Okay, I just wrote a much longer post but I completely lost it. Therefore, this is going to be much shorter and to the point.
I have been with my fiance for 2 years now. My family refuses to accept the relationship or meet him. This is due to the fact that 1. were Italian and he's from Pakistan and 2. he had a murder attempt against him about 7 years ago. He entered into an arranged marriage not knowing the woman had a mental illness. Instead of divorcing her, he tried to get her help but it became very difficult and then she started cheating. He had enough and told her he was going to file for a divorce, and that night she tried stabbing him in his sleep. There are news articles all over the internet about it, which is how my family found out to begin with. My mothers ideology is that the woman must of had other reasons to try and kill him, aside from a mental illness.
My fiance is a good man. He's been a college professor for 16 years, and a high school teacher for 14 years. He treats me very well, and would pretty much do anything for me. My family won't accept it, period. My mother and I have gotten into major battles over this relationship for the past 2 years. My sister moved to Italy a year and a half ago and refuses to speak to me. My Aunt works with him at the high school, and makes his life there torture because of me. My father isn't against it at all, but has told me several times that he just can't go against my mother. I have told her on several different occasions that if she just MET him and then found something off about him or something she didn't like, then I'd take her advice into consideration. I can't possible respect her wishes if she refuses to even meet him. She has nothing to go on. He's from Pakistan but he's not even Muslim, he's Catholic just like we are. He went to Catholic schools growing up, so It's not like there's even a religious difference there.
The Holiday's are coming, with Thanksgiving just a few days away. Last year, the holidays were hell for me and I couldn't wait for them to be over. I find myself in the same situation now, not knowing what to do. My fiance literally has NO ONE here. He has 2 grown children, but they live about 2 hours away and are obligated to stay with their mother for the holidays. Aside from them, he has no one else except me. I do consider him to be my family anyway, especially since he's going to be my husband one day (I am dragging my feet about even setting a date because I SO desperately want my family to be a part of it). I don't want to leave him alone on the Holiday's, I wouldn't feel right. At the same time, I love my family and don't want to hurt them either by not being there. Last year I tried splitting the holidays between them and him, and my mother still made my life hell over it because she expects me there for EVERY minute of the day. I'm in the same position again this year, and hate it. I feel like he shouldn't be punished because they refuse to meet him or accept him. It's not like he's the one making me choose; he would probably jump to the moon if he was ever invited to a holiday or special occasion.
I just don't know what's right or wrong. I don't want another holiday season to come and go with nothing but arguing. I always LOVED this time of year, but these days I hate it and I don't want to hate it.
Any advice/guidance would be appreciated!
