I've been in love with this girl for almost eight years now, started at age 11 and am now 19. She's my first love. Not entirely sure what she truly thinks of me, she's given some mixed signals over time, and has been with the same dude for years. I did ask her out a couple years ago not knowing about the boyfriend. I think from that she knows that I like her. Since then I've kept my distance while she'll still talk to me on occasion. She's been coming around a bit more lately too.
I went from holding her on a giant pedestal to seeing her in an honest light. She has an attention seeking side, and several male friends that constantly orbit her. I know the rest of her family and think there'd be pressure going out with her.
We aren't too close, and part of me thinks she wouldn't truly understand the person I am in a relationship. Not wanting a relationship right now, but would make an exception if I met the right girl. The vast majority of other girls I know behave in a very wild way, act ugly towards a lot people, and seem to live double lives. Whenever I think about that I think how the girl I love doesn't behave in that way but honestly I don't know how true that is. I know her sister used to have a secret wild side, and wonder if she will/does.
Everyone has baggage and this girl's baggage I'd be willing to deal with because by the looks of things I'll have to deal with that or worse. Is this a good reason to keep loving her? I get a feeling of happiness whenever thinking about being with her.
Should I pursue her again? and if so how?
