Should I Move On Or Really Try To Work Things Out With Her?

Hi everyone,



I would really appreciate any advice related to resolve or compromise for the relationship that I am in. I have exhausted all of my approaches towards trying to give clarity to my significant other (dubbed as life partner) and I am left with no other recourse but to seek assistance from the conscientous individuals that post on these message boards. Please read my story below.

Back in 2007, I was 17 years old when I had a kid with a someone that was significantly much older than me, 6 years older to be precise. Being young and not having any emotional stability, in a constant battle of contempt and nit picking of not being a father figure, it was inevitable that we would meet the demise in the relationship. The person took the child with her and went her separate way in 2008... She severed all communication and until this day is in a constant hermit state of shielding the child from me. I haven't heard or seen them since then.

From 2008 to the 2014, I didn't seek any courtship, relationship or girlfriend... And let me tell you, there was plenty of women interested in me, I just didn't entertain their willingness to get to know me personally. 1.) Because of fear of rejection even when I would be %110 transparent that I have a kid, already but do not know where they are. And 2.) That intuition or no positive vibe, no aura around the individual wasn't there for me to be drawn to them like a magnet. For any of the readers that has been in a meaningful relationship, you know precisely what I am talking about. I essentially withdrew myself from the most ripe years of my life for exploring. I felt it wasn't necessary, to each their own, why would someone want to pass their body and emotions around like it's change being handed from one person to another? I figured, if I am going to be in any other relationship it will be the last and final.

Then at the beginning of 2014 I met a girl and we officially got together mid 2014. Everything of what perceived to be right in a woman, I saw my Mom's characteristics in this lady. I have been in what I deem as a meaningful and fulfilling relationship for approximately eight months and have known this person for approximately one year. Prior to us becoming officially together, she knew of me having a kid with another lady back when I was a teenager nearly a decade ago, I was 110% transparent with her about my past. At first she came to embrace my past, clearly a denial state lived by the inspiration of finding a new love... But as the months progressed forward, her attitude towards me became the polar opposite, it comes and goes in a monthly cycle and no... I am not talking about when she is on her menstruation. She frequently has this retrospective jealousy towards my past of having a kid, challenges and questions my integrity assuming that I would cheat or give into infidelity...

Essentially she punishes me because of my past and wants to expunge certain actions from our relationship, such as trivial matters like refraining from cooking for me or attending church all because those are moments that I shared with the person in my past and there are many other trivial matters that I could list here but this post already long enough...

These cycles that she has and actions towards our relationship are sabotaging... For instance, whenever I'd try to give clarity, using different approaches like being calm and understanding, to maintaining my composure and giving additional insight... But she still insists to make me a vulgar verbal pin cushion or punching bag and says "oh just go back to your EX or find another girl." or she indirectly breaks up with me then the next day sweeps everything under the rug like nothing happened and repeats the cycle all over again a week or two later. The excessive put downs, threats and name calling is just... Face palm!

I've pleaded with her to stop those patterns in her thought process and there are times she said "Okay, I will stop doing this to you." but then it just happens all over again. I understand that each individual will learn to cope with the reality that we are human and we are accountable for all actions whether from the past or in the present... But is there any end to her sabotaging ways towards our relationship and punishing me for my past? I love the girl to death, I see a future with her... The posivity in her outweighs the negativity, but being able to handle the adversity of her self destruction towards our relationship has collectively taken it's toll on me, it drains me emotionally, physically, mentally and even at times spirtually... And the peculiar thing here is, the entire relationship was built at the start on the foundation of integrity, support and understanding.

Any insight or advice towards what my course of action should be is going to be greatly appreciated.

Should I move on or really try to work things out with her?



TL;DR Relationship problem that needs a resolve.



Best regards,

BreakingBad