Sabotaging a potential relationship

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07-02-15, 11:59 AM
Gymgirl71

Sabotaging a potential relationship

I don't do this intentionally. I just come on too strong, want everything now (relatinship) and I'm just too intense. If you look at my other post, the guy I'm seeing became distant because of that and is now in his mancave. I would text like a maniac which is because of my anxiety, but it has been making him distant and scaring him away. But what I don't like is how I had to drag it out of him when I knew the last 2 weeks something wasn't quite right.

I agree to the fact that relationships take time to blossom and I want it all too soon without letting it happen naturally. I am just very inpatient. I just wish he would have told me sooner instead of apologizing for being distant, and giving excuses. I'm not a mind reader. Why do men do this?
07-02-15, 12:40 PM
basilandthyme

Gymgirl, have you been seeking help for your anxiety? A bit of work with a psychologist could be very helpful for future relationships if this is a regular pattern for you.
07-02-15, 02:25 PM
Gymgirl71

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Gymgirl, have you been seeking help for your anxiety? A bit of work with a psychologist could be very helpful for future relationships if this is a regular pattern for you.

I am going to call next week...psychologist or psychiatrist....not sure what yet. I am trying to salvage things with the current guy but there's not much I can do but relax...he is still in touch every day and told me he wants to be with me but I have to relax a bit. In the past he would text me and if I don't hear from him for hours I would start shooting off text after text. So now I'm making sure to keep busy & tell myself he's just busy or relaxing or doing something and will get back to me when he is free. If I don't then it's definitely going to be over. He told me I'm scaring the crap out of him.,
07-02-15, 04:08 PM
michelle23

If you know your in the wrong but cannot stop or control the behavior then its time to seek help. It sounds like OCD and anxiety.. do you have friends, hobbies, work, college?? Why is having a boyfriend so important and why do you want it so fast without figuring out if hes good for you first?
07-02-15, 04:14 PM
Gymgirl71

I work full time, have a child, go to the gym. I need more hobbies and friends. I do obsess about things too much.
10-02-15, 08:54 AM
nootkan

If this guy is important to you than you should definitely figure out how to calm down and let it come naturally. After all he told you that you are scaring the crap out of him but he still wants you in his life. This alone speaks volumes to his character that he is willing to try and make it work if you can relax a little. Get a piece of paper and write down the things that drive you crazy about the relationship or life in general and when confronted with the anxiety you get, bring out the list and ask yourself if one of them is causing the anxiety and try to figure out why. Once you have a reason for the anxiety in front of you it will become easier to work through it before doing or saying something you may regret later. Take a deep breath and count to ten before you react and give yourself some time to rationalize the situation and you should be able to learn to relax more and the anxiety will dissipate. Hope this helps.
10-02-15, 08:59 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gymgirl71 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't do this intentionally. I just come on too strong, want everything now (relatinship) and I'm just too intense. If you look at my other post, the guy I'm seeing became distant because of that and is now in his mancave. I would text like a maniac which is because of my anxiety, but it has been making him distant and scaring him away. But what I don't like is how I had to drag it out of him when I knew the last 2 weeks something wasn't quite right.

I agree to the fact that relationships take time to blossom and I want it all too soon without letting it happen naturally. I am just very inpatient. I just wish he would have told me sooner instead of apologizing for being distant, and giving excuses. I'm not a mind reader. ?Why do men do this

Because some bitches be crazy (you be one) *Wavezzz to Gymgirl* :D and they (men that "do this") would rather just do the fade then have to deal with your particular type of whack.

Get help for yourself so that you learn to self-soothe. No one likes a bunny boiler and you'll scare them all away if you don't change your M.O.

Oh and stop blaming the men. This is about you, not them.