Awkward Situation, Extremely Confused - Please help
First of all Im new here, I'll try to be as brief as possible and explain the whole situation. Some of you will call me names and think I'm a failure, but truly if you want to be rude I really dont mind, I think i need some kind of reality check. So here it goes
To begin with, I need you all to have some background information so you can judge what is actually going on.
I dated this girld for 2 years, we broke up because she used to live in my city, and was always a countryside girl, and suddenly the rush of the big city caught up on her and she had this massive depression crisis and had to move back to her little country city, and we broke up due to the distance.
We always kept in touch and tried to get back several times
She dated a guy for the last year and a half and broke up a month ago, we started to talk before her breakup and decided we would try to get back together because she liked me and we get along pretty well.
Now this is when it starts,
3 weeks ago she came to my city, stayed at her friends house, we went out and we made out but did not have sex.
There is this huge holiday now in my country and I invited to spend it with me, and she agreed to, as long as we would sleep on seperate beds because she was not doing so well yet, due to her recent breakup
So here I am, writing this, with this gorgeous girl, whom I loved all my life, sleeping 1 meter away me.
She does not let me near her, she doesnt want to kiss me, and she doesnt even let me touch her.
We talked about it yesterday and she does not want to do anything of those things, because Im paying for everything, and if she sleeps with me, she will feel as a bitch.
Im so confused, Ill feel like leaving, but just being close to her makes me feel so good.
I got some friends nearby, and when we are all together spending the day, is great, but when we come back to our room and we lay on diferent beds and have basically no intimacy at all, it kills me.
I feel like Im being played, I cant think straight, Im too much of a nice guy. Im trying everything in my power to make this holiday perfect for this girl and she turns it around, saying that this spenditure is what makes her not want to be with me, because it makes her feel obligated to be with me as Im paying for all of it, but Im just doing this to make her happy, to make her see that if we get back together, this is the kind of good life she will be having beside me, I dont need to show her how rich I am, we dated for 2 years, she knows my family, she knows our life style. Im just trying to provide so we can have a great time to enjoy the company of one another, but suddenly everything I do to make this trip as good as possible is back firing on me.
I truly dont know what to do, every night, when I go to bed and see her spleeping next to me, I feel like crying, I feel like I am being played, I'm embarassed to tell my friends what is going on.
She says she does not know what is going to be happen, she says she likes me, but she still not well, she almost gave up on this trip last week, I think it would be better if she did.
I did not think it was going to be like this, we talk to each everyday on the phone, we kissed 3 weeks ago, and suddenly when we can enjoy ourselves, she comes with all this bullshit.
I dont know what to do, I feel numb, I feel mentally chalenged, I cant think straight.
I just came into this forum, in desparation, because I have no one to tell this to, I cant tell my friends, I cant tell my parents, all of them will be mad at me for doing all this for her and knowing I am getting not even a friendly hug back.
I do not know if I am being very clear, my thoughts are very clouded, I cant even think straight, all my logical thoughts are being countered by my feelings and I cant argue straight with her, and i just accept it all.
Sorry for the long post, this is my last resort.
Feel free to write whatever you want, all criticism is welcome.
Please help, please help me get my feet on the ground
