Please asap advice and on my path/ subconsciousness top. in finding the one

This topic is about me and how I should proceed in my life.
Motivated by my past experience:

It has seemed to me that the intelligent women that I have been interested in, probably have never been interested in me. It seems I will have to open my senses in more places than I have thus far..

First thing I would like to know:

I decided to grow my hair longer many years ago while I was playing music, but I actually cannot do it this way any more -- do You think my haircut type would improve my chances for women to become attracted to me? Of course I've always been living abroad for the past years, I don't know how big of a factor that is in dating...

About myself: I think I am friendly, rather extrovert, I never judge people only by their looks and I think I am open-minded and positive when I talk to people. I have physics background, currently moving toward computational neuroscience, so I like intelligent women. I make friends easily (I'm living abroad, but I already have many connections at the university), but irrespective of how many male connections I would have, I sense that I will always feel totally isolated from the universe until I haven't found my woman soul mate.

The issue: I am keeping my senses open to interact with new women, but I don't seem to become really attracted to most of them . I know it's about how I value and see people in the world and that I am searching inside myself to progress..

Specific case, still open::/

Lately, I've worked together with an intelligent girl in a prog. class in a paired programming task. I expected her to come for prog. also the next week, but she didn't. When solving, she seemed very friendly and I got a feeling afterwards that she is my type, and I think we really got along well. I wrote a message to her yesterday with a brief comment that I would like to know a bit more about her, but she hasn't replied to me, and something tells me that she is not going to reply. Of course this could be because of anything, how should I perceive it? It is really on my mind, I am studying for an exam right now, but I am just so attached to her first 2 day image I got from her because of the chemistry I think we had...

The thing is that I've only seen her in the programming class once/twice and sending online messages to a person I've only met once/twice is really not my style, but since I couldn't find her at school afterwards, I decided to do that. So now there's going to be an exam in programming on Monday/Tuesday and besides these times, I wouldn't know when/where else I could meet her IRL so that I could get a direct response from her (of course if this would turn out to be negative, she would probably not tell the reason....) I really wouldn't want my interest in her be without any response, this unsettled event would remain in my subconscious mind -- the best way would be to get any response, be it positive or negative. Although I don't have lot of experience in dating, I have read and gone through different and pretty deep materials about dating, so I think I do have confidence in this matter, but I am still very interested -- would You guys try and approach the girl, provided I see her at the exam, the same way as if I actually hadn't written that message to her?

I know all these things are in some way related to anxiety-type restlessness mechanisms in my brain (scientists have found the relevant genes and I think my mother line could be the link) and though I am going to continue my career in neuroscience (computational, cognitive) and at the same time, I really cannot change my brain overnight -- I am really contributing through meditation, neurotransmitter experiments (soon to try Kava root powder) and concentrating on positive things, but I just cannot help it that
I seem to become attracted only to very certain types of women and they usually aren't interested in me :/

Of course life has been hard for me during the past years anyway, mainly because of my health problems I've had due to which I gave up the thing I liked most in the world -- playing music. But since I still can listen to music, I think it is actually not a very big problem -- maybe it is even good in this sense, that I don't get to activate my dopamine release so much as a substitute for my low PEA levels and connection to women. I have come to an understanding, that my true self is a person for whom finding the female soul mate is very important, perhaps the most important thing in my life.

I am really interested in intelligent women.. and I understand that since I am living abroad (maybe moving to study in Germany in the near future), I have to be really active in finding the person myself. At the moment I live here in Finland and I do speak almost fluent Finnish...

I am not totally inactive in my activities, I go to winter swimming and pool swimming regularly, though I feel winter swimming has a better impact on me since I can actually talk to even a few middle-aged people there, and even talking to them is a lot better than seeing the couples swim together at the pool, which really seems to increase my unhappiness..
I have a few ideas something like cooking / dance classes, although for the latter, I know I need to surmount a barrier in my brain which interprets musical data as a different input for my brain, relying on my previous musical history. Thus far I have always had the excuse that I cannot go to different places since I have actually nobody to go there with and that I need to study a lot every day. I am really motivated to do it right now, but this restlessness topic about my potential female soul mate and especially the current scenario right now, still remain...

And I really would want to at least talk to her once.. :/ :/

Please help me in my situation.

Especially welcome are all comments from women.

Thank You!