I'm a 24 yr old student in Australia. I have just gone back to university and, well, developed a crush on my tutor (as you do). To start this off, I should say that my university doesn't strictly prohibit staff/student personal relationships, but it does require that staff need to avoid "conflicts of interest" - basically meaning if there is any relationship there then staff need to avoid examination or special treatment of the student.
So... I have started noticing one of my tutors who is about 30 and is teaching while he does a phd at my university. At first I didnt think much of him and just focused purely on the content we are learning. But in the last couple of weeks I noticed what i thought was strange behaviour... when I would walk into the room/respond to roll call/glance over at him he would very quickly avert his gaze or reflexively turn his head away even if he hadn't been looking directly at me. I thought this was a little strange and at first thought perhaps I had done something wrong (I turned up 2-3 mins late a couple times but he didnt say anything). He didnt seem to have eye contact problems with other students either.
Then one class I noticed he kept staring kind of absently in my direction a lot. Later that day while I was studying I glanced down and realised my top was showing lots of cleavage... and I put two and two together lol. And then I started smiling thinking...maybe I was wrong and he doesn't dislike me. But then again, I could be reading into this too much.
So, of course, I did what any normal person would do... I emailed him, strategically inserting a few smiley faces :) (LOL). But really I was just finding an excuse to connect with him and get my name stuck in his head. The email chain was mostly professional and consisted of me asking questions about material for this course and my degree and he would respond in detail, being friendly but professional.
On Wednesday evening after he'd sent me two relatively detailed and helpful messages... I continued to press for more info... I don't want to think of it as manipulative, but I basically asked him straight out what other courses he teaches and explained what degree I'm doing, and passed it off as me wanting to know more about the future units.
Thursday I had a class with him and he hadn't yet responded to my email. I did think his behaviour was...potentially interesting though. He seemed to be walking around the class and getting so close to me he was almost brushing the back of my chair a few times while I was talking to others at my table (as part of the work we were doing). At one point he sat down at our table to go through the material with us and a moment in I saw him glance at me with a worried look on his face? This really confused me because it wasn't acknowledgement/recognition that we'd spoken, it was clearly worry. I don't know why he would be worried about anything, I would have thought if there was nothing there he would probably just smile or make eye contact to acknowledge me maybe.
Anyway, as we were leaving class he did something he hasn't done before also which was stand next to the door and smile at a few people as they left. He had his gaze down before I approached and I felt him lift it as I was next to him, but not wanting to be too obvious I kept my eyes on the person in front of me.
Then tonight (Friday) I got his email response. Probably a bit more professional than before. He said he teaches quite a lot of the units that are coming up in my degree, and even some post graduate units that I might end up doing.
So in a way it could be complicated if I did want something to happen there... But at the same time I am really, really interested in him. His background is in the specialised field that I am studying in and I really admire the knowledge and character that he has. I might have kind-of/sort-of looked him up online and found a few youtube videos also... He is very well spoken and intelligent. Normally I go for professional/attractive/well dressed/wealthy men... And I have had a lot of success dating that kind of guy BUT I have a lot of trouble finding an intellectual equal. And due to this I don't really think it's so much that I'm interested in him as an authority figure, but I do want to know him on a more personal level and see how well we mesh. I am not looking to rush into anything but I do want to show interest...however it could be VERY awkward if that doesn't go well, and I can't predict if I will have much to do with him in the future if I get rejected.
I know there will be some who say don't get involved and you probably have good reason to say so. But I am not quite at that point. What I want to know is HOW I can get to know him better. I can handle myself, I'm a big girl... (I mean, I'm an adult - I'm not overweight lol). But all of that will be easier if I have a friendship in place... Is it appropriate to try and initiate a 'friendship' with him and if so how do I do this?
I guess this is nerve wracking for me because I recently ended a long term relationship and I haven't been with anyone else for a long time. I gained some weight in my last relationship, not heaps but whereas I used to be very skinny/pretty (model-type...) I am now sort of normal with curves but not flabby/chubby or anything. I used to be able to get any guy I wanted, now, I'm not so sure.
