Not Strong enough to leave a bad relationship
I have been seeing this guy for awhile about 4 years. The relationship has progressed a lot over a 4 years but it is not an exclusive relationship. I am in love with him but the feeling isn't mutual. I think he loves and cares about me a lot but he isn't in love with me. The major problem that I have with him is his relationship with his ex. They are not in an exclusive relationship but she wants is to work between them. About a year ago I asked him why does he keep her around and his response was "He doesn't want another man to benefit from the time that he invested in her." So basically I share him with another woman. We both know about each other but I know a lot more about her than she knows about me. She knows that me and him have fooled around in the past. She doesn't know the present status of our relationship. Me and him spend a whole lot of time together. I see him every single day, he spends the night with me at least 3 nights out of a week and he is really sweet. We do most of the things that a couple would do and plus some. However, I know that sometimes he does those things with her as well. Me and his ex are both seniors in college and will be graduating this semester. She goes to school about 2 hours away so he doesn't see her as often. When she is here for long periods of time they can't go three days without arguing. Most of the arguments are so severe that they won't make up for 2 weeks or longer. So I feel like after she graduates and comes home for good and they are around each other more, that that will end it for good because the arguments will be more frequent and that will end it for good.
One of the reasons that I stay in put up with it because I eventually want to be with him. I know that him and his ex will never work because of the history of dysfunction and the obvious incompatibility. I also don't want to leave because I feel like if I left, his ex wold automatically "win". It's like she would get to have him to herself which is all I ever wanted. At the same time, I want her to feel what I feel. I want her to feel what it is like to be pressed about another woman or to have to compete with another woman but I know if I told her, he wouldn't have anything else to do with me.
I am just really bothered because I know they will never work and so does he. Deep down I feel that she knows it as well. However, it hurts to see her name pop up on his phone. He isn't disrespectful enough to answer in front of me. However, this whole thing really breaks my heart. My heart really hurts.
What should I do? Should I wait until after she comes home to make a decision? Do you think that he will ever be with me? Should I tell her the situation? Any advice or insight that anybody has will be helpful
