anything is possible. are your feelings real, only time will tell that. time and getting to know each other sets passing passion and lasting love apart.
nobody can know their feelings until you give it time, and spend it with your loved one.
for your codependent patterns, you can go into therapy.
codependency is the better end of the deal when growing up with a very narcissistic parent, so be happy.
it's also dangerous coz it draws you to sick bastards, so be careful and gentle with yourself, your heart and who you give it to.
darling, you both have a point.
sort of crazy to start a relationship at a time you do not have minimum to bring to the table.
we need to be minimally well adjusted, at least, to be able to work on our relationship not sabotage it.
she is right, coz we all can have feelings that are not meant to last, and that we blew out of proportion, so to say, and that is not codependency's fault, that is simply being human.
she'd be wrong to run from love, coz it's uncertain, though, since there are never guarantees when you start anew, and she should know this, and try to be close to you.
this is why some people offer a friendship first and wait for a better situation to make it more...(she isn't jumping into the fire, but she isn't running from love either.)
she is trying not to get hurt,at a time she is not likely to handle it well. not to fall too deeply for you, until you are sure you want her, and you're feelings are strong enough.
again, strong feelings are only a good start, relationships nurture those feelings, or kill them.
that's the second reason she wants to wait, she needs minimum of stability so she can nurture your feeling and not kill them.
there is nothing wrong with helping someone and liking them, or wanting to sleep with them or date them.
that's pretty healthy and normal.
there is only wrong in it, if you try to use her bad situation to manipulate or force her into things you want.
you seem far from it.
never care about majority opinion, in this world in any context, seek out true pearls of humanity and care about minority report.
what i mean is, most people are such that they use people's situations to take advantage of them,and these are the first and loudest people to accuse others of this.
are you respectful to this woman?
caring?
do respect her humanity, integrity and her boundaries?
do you have protective instincts for her?
(as oppose to destructive)
are you really helping her out and doing for her what she cannot do alone, right now?
if most of these you answered yes, you are a good man and doing the right things, the fact that you like her romantically doesn't make it sordid.
you do not have to help her beyond your capabilities. she would not want to put a strain on you.
in fact, she is more likely to have a problem with letting you help her if she sees you are trying to do more than you can.
she would not want to be a burden and a strain on your life.
she is more likely to accept your help, if you give only what you can give, without putting a strain on your life.
you did not pout her husband in jail and make her bounce from a living situation to a next one.
so, forget people targeting you, you are her blessing and you are helping her.
we need friends and help more than ever when we are in trouble.
more so than things are going well.
she needs you now. she needs as much as you can give, not more, and she needs the stability of a friendship.
coz what if you guys make love, and she falls deeply for you and you decide it wasn't very profound for you, and you don't want to be with her.
in her trouble and state of mind she would have a very hard time getting over you.
when she is better she can try a relationship, nurture and and give you her best, and have the capacity to survive it, if you guys do not work out.
