I've been looking for someone who hasn't been married and has never had kids. Is this shallow?
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I've been looking for someone who hasn't been married and has never had kids. Is this shallow?
Not having kids makes sense because kids can really effect one's lifestyle. But what's your rationale in looking for someone who's never been married?
I'm looking for someone around my age (early-mid twenties), and take marriage seriously.Quote:
Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So you don't want what you relate to as 'baggage' perhaps? I could be misreading so my bad if I am.
Yet while I get the whole, 'I'd like someone free and clear of past connections of an intimate kind' ie. ex's or children, you may find that everyone comes with a variable certain amount of 'stuff', be it people, emotional baggages, past trauma's, you name it, we've got it. All of us. You included.
So, shallow? No. REalistic? not really. But hey, good luck.
Just how many people in their early/mid twenties have been married and divorced already? I'd guess you have a good chance of finding one that has never been married (less of one finding a fatherless one, sadly there are a lot of irresponsible lovers out there. That's not to say there are still lots of them out there that were smart enough to wrap it and keep it wrapped)
You want someone like yourself and it's not shallow.
I don't think that's shallow, I have the same standards and more.
I was separated from my first marriage at age 24 when I met my second husband. We're still together over 20 years later. Not sure why you think a divorcee would not take a second marriage seriouslyQuote:
Originally Posted by SuperHappyTime1 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
No. It is just a preference you have when it comes to dating and relationships.
Why would that be shallow? It would only be shallow and stupid if you fell in love with a person who had a divorce and/or kids and decided not to be with them only because of that. As long as you just steer clear of such people to avoid related problems, it's just your lifestyle choice.
Imagine a mindset "I am looking for someone not disabled". Shallow? Not really, everyone would prefer to be with someone healthy. I'd even go as far as to say that's one implicit requirement to everyone's match searching. Quite a different thing from "I'd like my partner to be tall, dark-haired and athletic", but in the end you fall in love with the people you fall in love with, regardless of what requirements you'd set. So go easy on yourself and don't blame me when you fall in love with a divorcee :-D
The kids part is understandable because it's a major part of anyone's life, and you are always dealing with their children and their ex. If you're not okay with that, that's your prerogative. As for never being married? I'm not so sure that is a catch-all standard. Meaning, there are LOTS of people out there that get just as attached/heartbroken/damaged with their boy/girlfriends as they would with a spouse, sometimes even more so. It's fine to have standards, just be careful that you don't miss out on someone awesome because you are hung up on their past :-)