Question about sex for the ladies
My wife and I have been married 14 years. If it matters, she is 42 and I'm 48. We have always had amazing sex once we get into the bed and get things rolling. The problem is getting there.
I want to clarify that I do my part in the bedroom. I could understand if a husband didn't know what he was doing, skipped foreplay; was a selfish lover or didn't satisfy his woman's needs. That's not the case here. Lets just say that for every time I "win" in bed, she "wins" 10-15 times, and she gets the full treatment; oral, fingers (Which she really likes) and a healthy does of of intercourse. Seeing her climax is the most exciting part of love-making for me. When I was younger, like many men I had a premature problem; now its the opposite...I really have to work to get over that cliff, if you know what I mean. Anything she wants, I give it to her. Whenever we finish, and I say "That was amazing," her response is always, "It always is."
Despite the aforementioned, it is always I who has to ask for sex, and I pretty much have to ask beforehand; she turns me down so often I no longer try spontaneous sex, as it is more difficult for me to deal with the rejection if I try to start and am rebuffed, than if I simply ask and am told "no." (To be truthful, that hurts too) Its as if she doesn't need intimacy with me at all; its just a bonus for her- but maybe that's because she knows its always available for her whenever she wants.
So hungry am I for this contact, I've given her an open and standing offer throughout our marriage: Any evening she wants, I will give her oral sex and digital (Fingers) no strings attached; I don't require or expect her to reciprocate at all. I figure this makes it very easy for her; a relaxing time of being pleasured before she showers. In 14 years of marriage, I think she has taken me up on this offer about 3-4 times.
Any advice? I'm losing my mind here, and feeling hurt.