What should I even do at this point?!
My ex boyfriend and I were together 4 months long distance, he lives 3 hours away. We're 17, but please don't discount what I say just because I'm young. We met while I was at my beach house. He broke up with the girl he was with at the time to be with me. When we had been dating for a while he would tell me that he knew I was his soulmate and that he wanted to marry me some day so we'd have to stay in touch no matter what happens. We never fought and I've never met a guy like him, instead of getting mad or upset he'd try to understand me and what I was doing. He made me so happy and made me feel so loved and I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. We would talk for hours and hours every single day and text as much as possible. Anyways, as long as I've known him he's been horrible with his phone, he has good intentions but he always forgets about it. Towards the last 3 weeks of the relationship he apparently started getting really busy and he was taking a long time to respond to texts and we weren't face timing for 2/3 days at a time. After about a week of it I talked about it with him and he told me that he was scared I was gonna break up with him and that he'd try his absolute best because he loved me so much and couldn't bare to lose me. It went on for another two weeks and I got mad so I asked him if anything was up and he said of course not and that he loved me so much. I asked him to call me and halfway through the call he broke up with me, telling me that he couldn't do the distance anymore because it wasn't fair to me because he knew he'd be busy over the summer and it'd make me mad, and that it made him feel guilty when he was out with friends because he knew I'd get mad. I feel so bad because I had no idea I was making him feel like that. He texted me that night and asked if we could stay friends, and if not he understood. I recognize that it's probably my fault we broke up. I told him I didn't know yet and that I needed some space so we didn't talk for two weeks and then I texted him. We talked normally and he said he'll still stay friends and after that we joked around for a day. I texted him two weeks after that but he never replied and we haven't talked since then, which was in july. He hasn't been on any social media since then either... it's been almost 2 months since we broke up and I still cry every day because I'm head over heels in love with him but we did talk about getting back together and he said that I'm "beautiful and a great person" but that he doesn't think he can be in a relationship with me long distance right now. I just feel like a piece of me is missing and that sounds so cheesy but it's so true. I'm not one to be superstitious or believe in signs but I'd been praying to God to send me a sign if it was meant to be, and a few days later I got a fortune cookie that said "someone you care about seeks reconciliation" and it freaked me out a lot. It always seemed like he had such a genuine interest in keeping me in his life long term, so how could it all just fade away? I'm very careful about who I let into my life, especially guy-wise, and he's the most amazing guy I've ever met. A lot of people tell me I need to talk to him and I want to, I'm just scared of annoying him incase he hates me now or something. And in my opinion I feel like it would be annoying to bring our relationship up again because I did in July and he basically lightly told me he wasn't interested in a relationship, so I don't want to be that one ex who doesn't get the hint. But I want to know where we stand. If he's actually interested in being friends, I want to know that. I kind of want to tell him that I still love him and everyone says I should, but I'm scared of sounding desperate or clingy. I don't want him to get a text from me and roll his eyes saying "oh god not her again". If he doesn't love me anymore, I want to know that. But what do I say to him? How do I go about talking to him, while at the same time ensuring that I won't get ignored? I'm kind of interested in talking on the phone or over FaceTime so I can see or hear his emotions. Also, I may be in his state sometime before summer ends. It would be so much easier if we had a mutual friend because I could have him or her talk to him but we don't. What do I do??
