Thirteen months later but never getting over

13 months since the intelligent, way out of my league stunner casually decided a relationship with me was too much to commit to at the time.

Well, I was devastated but I did the break up right and I kept my dignity. No contact, no social media connection – I gave all the space anybody could give.


I've dated three other people in this time. Two of whom I walked away from for feeling a lack of a spark (compared to previous relationship). However, the latest,

which is ongoing, does seem to offer me the spark I was looingk for.


Yet, with every reason to be, still, I am not over the love from 13 months prior.


Have I reached the point where I should make contact? Or do I continue to wait to hear from or forget? My desire to reconnect is beginning to overtake my

pride in pretending I don't care we broke up.

First off... in order to get over the girl that dumped your ass, you have to take her down off the pedestal you have her on. Calling her your "way out of my league stunner" is ridiculous.

Second off... quit being an asshole and using people who likely have fallen in love with you while you keep this twit you call "out of your league" in your thoughts to the point of distraction.

Do the mental work you need to get over the last one before you get with a new one. Do the mental work you need to do to either focus on your current or leave her to find a guy that isn't hung up on someone who didn't want him. Jeesh!

"A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space." - Gloria Steinem.

Don't put her, or any other woman on a pedestal, they just fall off them. If she was too good for you, then why was she with you at all?

Quote:

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Have I reached the point where I should make contact? Or do I continue to wait to hear from or forget? My desire to reconnect is beginning to overtake my
pride in pretending I don't care we broke up.

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Is there any reason to suspect that she'd view you any differently at this time? If your ex has the ability to contact you, and wanted to contact you because her feelings had changed...she would have. Is there any reason to believe that contact with her...and the likely rejection that would follow would do anything positive for your self esteem? Are you prepared to sacrifice the relationship you're currently in for another likely rejection by your ex? It would be inappropriate to contact your ex to try to patch things up without talking to the woman you're seeing now. Don't be that guy.

It's not fair to the gal you're dating now to harbor these feelings for your ex, and the more time that passes without resolution the more you risk harming this woman. Do some soul searching, figure it out, and make a decision. In my experience people don't consider patching things up with exes if their needs are being met by their current significant other. If there's something missing in your current relationship, then figure out what it is and attempt to rectify it, failing that end it with the new girl.