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I've been dating a man for about a month. Our connection and chemistry is very strong. However in the last week he has been strange. His uncle passed away a couple of days ago which is understandable for him to be distant. What should I do? I've let him know I'm there for him with whatever he needs but he hasn't been very responsive. Am I over analyzing? Thanks.
Yes, why don't you go and do something nice for yourself like: Get your hair done, go out with your girlfriends, buy something new, get a massage, have a self-pleasuring marathon... anything to get yourself to realize that HE LOST A RELATIVE and he's busy dealing with that. He's known you a month... you're not a priority right now.
True, do you think I should also not contact him?
You can check in, but I recommend giving him space. It seems that's what he needs right now. You've let him know you're there for him, so he can reach out to you if and when he needs to. Until then, hold tight and be patient.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sfqueen [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You have already contacted him when you told him this:You do what you think is best but if it was me and I'd already volunteered that I "was there for him" then I wouldn't contact him until he contacted me and if he didn't contact me after a week or so, I'd reopen my options and I wouldn't be waiting around for him.Quote:
I've let him know I'm there for him with whatever he needs
Once the funeral is over and he'd be finished with those sorrowful duties, IMO he should at least contact you to see if you haven't met anyone else while he was otherwise occupied. If he doesn't contact you then he may have ghosted on you and is vile enough to use a death in the family as an excuse.
Did you see the obituary?
Have you been to his home?
Do you know his last name?
Do you know the name of the uncle that passed away?
Did you meet him online?
Just how well DO you know this guy? I know you say you've been dating a month but in that month, just how often did you see him and how much do you actually know about him?
I mean, you'd really have to be a lot more specific. If he's just seeming to be a little distant and cold, then OF COURSE that could very well be (and probably is) because of him losing his uncle. You've told him you are there for him. You already did the right thing. I agree you should give him some space as the others have suggested. I guess I would say it is okay to check in now and then just to ask how he is doing and if he needs anything. Just don't overdo it. Beyond that, let him contact you or ask you if he does want anything, such as for you to support him at the funeral.
Beyond that, if things never get back to the way they were, then that would be a time to re-evaluate and possibly just move on. As Wakeup points out, a month isn't really that long to know somebody. It is very possible, and likely, that he is just dealing with the loss of a relative right now and is therefore understandably a bit down. Looking at a possible absolute worst case scenario, the whole thing could also be made up and just his excuse for pulling away from you. I'm not saying I think that is the case. I would hope somebody wouldn't do something as terrible as that, but I'm just trying to illustrate that you don't yet know him well enough to know.
So, for now, just do what you would do for anybody for whom you care in a situation like this. In time, he'll hopefully recover and you two can get back on track. If not, worry about it then.
stand by him.. he needs you... i think there are things he is doing.. fixing family ish. etc.. so friend.. please understand