Missing the love of my life?
Btw I am a female lol. I feel like my heart is falling apart. I broke up w/my ex a week ago. I was the one who ended it, I am extremely broken. I wanted so bad for the relationship to work. When I started having doubts I approached him in a mature manner and he accused me of trying to mess up the relationship. He never took my hurting/being upset seriously, he would blame it on me overthinking. He was shocked when I ended the relationship. I ended it because I saw he lacked goals/interests in anything in life and I felt I was being taken for granted. He never saved money (he told me he couldn't afford a ring) and was always spending it on frivolous things and going and drinking at the bar (once a week by himself). He took no interests in ANYTHING, he never wanted to go anywhere w/me (I felt like I had to drag him) and wouldn't offer up suggestions where to go. I was excited about my 1st boyfriend thinking we would do so many things together, we ended up staying in the house not doing anything. I am feeling better day by day, but still tear up when I think of him. I never plan on going back, I have talked to him twice (he has some of my stuff) and pretty much he blames me for breaking his heart and makes promises to change (he told me that he would be doing so many things w/his life and didn't even do anything small). I held on for awhile hoping he would take the reins and get done what needed to be done. My parents saw that the relationship wouldn't work out as he was beginning to take me for granted, they wanted me to discover this. They knew (in the many months that he would come over) he would never appreciate me. I do not plan on going back because I know that would be the stupidest decision I could make. Why I can I not let go? I have my job, my friends and other activities that I do, but somehow hanging out w/friends isn't the same as spending time w/the man I loved, something is missing.
