The one I can never have

Hello to everyone that is reading this. This is my story on how I lost my one and only true love.
I remember I met her at a party. We have such a blast laughing and joking around with my friends. I didn't think anything of that night. We exchanged our phone numbers and from there something beautiful started! Few weeks went by and we started spending romantic nights together.
The weeks went by we did everything together and we created a bond that we said would never be broken. We talked about growing old together and we promised each other nothing would change that. But 2 years later I moved away for school and we told each other we would make it work because we loved each other.
The weeks went by and I could tell she missed me and was having the hardest time without me. She was constantly upset and worrying about what I was doing. This started to annoy me but I could get by that, but with the pressure of school and the long-distance relationship, I was losing who I really was. It made me feel lonely and lost. I was in need physical attention (sex). But I could not do it while I was committed. So I broke up with her. In a time where she was already depressed I just kicked her while she was down. She tried so hard to change my mind but I was stubborn and would not budge.
Now this is the sad part a few weak went by and I really began to miss her and realize what I have changed into. The party's and drinking just got me more depressed. Then one day I said I was going to call her and apologize for what I did and tell her I still love her and want to grow old with her, but I never got a answer or response. Two days later I called her mom and asked to speak to her daughter and that is when I heard the worst thing possible! She told me that she had died in a car accident 2 days before I decided to make things work. I cried so hard for days. Just blaming myself for what happened.

If I could do anything I would go back and would give her the chance she deserved, but instead I'm stuck regretting the choice I made. All because I wanted to feel free. I love her so much and always will but now it does not matter.

Don't give up on the ones that you love!

Maybe she didnt died but just told her mum to say that so you stop contacting her..
I know how it is to lose love of your life. Maybe your life will never be the same but you can get over it and start new life. Might take years but if you keep yourself busy it will be quicker process.

You have to give up on the one you love if they don't feel the same way anymore - because it becomes a fantasy world for you and harassment for them. Not healthy.

I actually don't think her mom has told you the truth, maybe she just doesn't want you to come close to her daughter no more. Plus. The drinking and partying will only skyrocket your depression. Quit thinking and focus on yourself.

Your story made me cry. I don't know what to say.