Falling in love with best friend?
Okay this is going to be a long question I'm sorry but I seriously need some advice regarding this situation...
Alright so my best guy friend and I have been friends for seven years since my 11th birthday party back in 2008, we met through our older siblings (my brother and his sister who have been together since high school, late twenties and going into their sixth year of marriage this January). We've basically grown up together inseparable and have done everything from playing outside at our houses to going out and doing things as well as spend the night together (don't worry he slept on the couch or in the floor by my bed). We'd play video games and watch our favorite shows together. One time we got sun exhaustion from being at a waterpark all day and we still wanted to be in each other's company despite we weren't feeling good and very tired, we just went home and slept forever. I don't think we realized it but I feel like something was going on since we never got sick of each other and always wanted to be together. We viewed "us" like brother and sister and thought it was gross if people talked about the possibility of us dating, but we were questioned a lot about it.
This year has been kind of different though, we've backed off each other a lot and barely even talk now except for liking each other's posts on Facebook and viewing each other's Snapchat stories. I don't understand why this would just suddenly happen because we basically loved each other without the extra feelings??? My problem is that since the end of last year I've kind of started developing feelings for him, like for example he started being on my mind a lot more than usual and I keep imagining intimate situations with him like cuddling and being goofy or kissing him. At first I kept denying myself because I used to think of him as a brother all this time but now I can't stop thinking about him and miss him like crazy... I actually keep envisioning a possible future for us because we have so many things in common like for example: we both adore kids and animals, we're both hyper and goofy, we like the same shows and video games, we both want to fall in love with someone and get married and want kids, he even told me that he also wanted a boy and twin girls like I did (of course we never meant with each other since we didn't have feelings we just talked about what we wanted our futures to be like in a regular conversation). Could he possibly be my soulmate or something with all these coincidences? It's so different with him then I've felt with other guys. I'm comfortable around him and I don't feel like I have to change anything about myself to get him to notice me because he already loves me for who I am in some way.
Anyway, we've had some touchy feely moments before like one time he bent over me in a picture where I was grinning over my new xbox one and his head was on top of mine, and at another time he told me once I could put my legs on his lap when I was laying down and he was sitting at the end of our couch. Also at one point I had just woke up and accidentally walked out of my room to use the bathroom to find out he had came by, I had messy hair and was in short sleeping shorts. I immediately apologized and he said "it's okay at least I got to see you". I don't get it. If he still enjoys being around me why don't we talk or hang out like we used to? Is it possible that he may like me back and is too afraid to be around me because he knows I used to like him as just a brother??
I don't know how to handle this. He's my best friend and I miss him. I'm in love with him. Thanks to anybody who takes the time to actually read this I seriously appreciate it hopefully you guys can help me figure this out. I can't tell anybody I know with the fear of him possibly finding out.. I'm way too scared to tell because I don't want to lose our friendship completely if it turns out he never liked me.
What Should I do?
