2 Friends 3 Problems

Background info: A friend of mine for 20+ years had been dating a woman for the last 9 years, they got married last August and started a divorce just 3 months later in November. Normally I distance myself from my friends wives because I am single and leave no room for any problems to arise jeopardizing my friendship with my buddy.

With this gal it was a little different, we got along well and even though I was less standoffish I considered her a friend for about 7 years.

When they both told me (separately) they were getting divorced. I was shocked, immediately they both wanted to tell their side of the story and I stopped them and said no, I will be a friend to both of you but I am not going to let either of you put me in the middle of this. I will not say one word about the other person to either of you and if you cannot handle that then I will step away from both relationships.

This has worked over the last year and I have continued to spend time with both of them off and on and no where near the time we used to. Both of them have honored my request and do not bring up the other one when we are hanging out. I wanted to give them space and I was hoping they could work it out and get back together.

Lately I am very confused by my feeling towards both of them and I am on a bit of a roller coaster. I find myself growing apart from my friend and maybe a little closer to his ex......but overall growing apart from both of them. I am having trouble trying to figure out what to do on my own, if it were any of my other friends I would be 100% on my guy friends sides because all of their wives are.............well you know.

If I pick my guy friend in this one I lose one friend (her) If I pick her I lose 7+ friends...........and its still a hard decision for me because I value loyalty and honesty. How do you tell a friend she did everything right but it wasnt good enough?

Please help