Does he like/love me? (LONG, but PLEASE help!!!! :'( )
Okay. Since I have been rambling a lot during my previous posts and have apparently bored all of you to death... I'll just try the bare facts, because this is eating me alive. I must know what's going on! Please, please, please help! :sad2:
Beren (Him)
- Just turned 19
- Practically an orphan
- Very timid, easily frightened and physically weak
- Very sweet and caring person
- Has a nearly baffling sense of morality ("it wouldn't be correct for me to ask you what time you get off work")
- Kept bugging me for my phone number and asking me to go on dates with him after we met
- When we worked together, would follow me like a shadow and always want to help me with anything he could
- Would share his pain with me and sit talking to me for hours (and no, he wouldn't try to avoid my gaze)
- Was very eager to meet my family and always sang their praises
- Says I'm the best thing that ever happened to him
- Calls me "my girl", "my beautiful Tinúviel", "princess", etc.
- Once told me that whatever guy ended up with me would be very lucky
- Refuses to disagree with anything I say or do
- Keeps telling me how much he cares about me
- Up until two weeks ago, would message me every single day without fail
- Several times he told me he loved me and then followed it with "my friend"
- Speaks Spanish and a bit of Portuguese
- Has told me repeatedly that he feels he is beneath me (which I immediately denied)
- Has told my friends I'm beautiful and the best girl in the world, but denied wanting to be my BF, when pressed (says love isn't about just that. I agree, BTW)
- Will take even what he doesn't have to help anyone, anytime
- Often would complain that he was "ugly" and girls "paid no attention to him"
- Although he did mention a girl who "scared" him by asking him to be her bf after hearing him sing
- Often spoke of how he felt lonely but didn't know if he was ready for a gf, and how he wanted to have children someday
Lúthien (Me)
- Will turn 19 in a few months
- At first only helped him because he needed it, later due to friendship
- He won my love, but I have not told him yet
- When I met him, I had a crush on an Internet friend of mine, which he knew well as I only wanted friendship
- Speaks English as well as Spanish
Both
- Mexican nationality
- We both have the mushiest hearts, haha
- Lovers of animals (especially as relates to aquariums)
- Love to sing
- Hard workers
- Romantic temperament (read: feelings over reason, very loyal to friends, etc. though I am more rebellious than he)
Now you've got the bare facts, know this: up until two or so weeks ago he was the best friend anyone could ever have asked for. He was always there for me, and was even more insistent than I that we should be friends forever, that he'd stay with me and we'd finish school together. And, of course, I did my best for him as well (even though I repeat at first it was for friendship and not romantic love; he knew of my crush). He met my family and everyone liked him. He introduced to me his only "family", a friend he considers a brother; and he was always eager to meet my friends and all the people in my social circle. My family helped him out because he's so poor sometimes he doesn't even eat, and gets sick because of it. And whenever either of us had a problem, we'd reach out to the other, sometimes (okay, often) chatting on WhatsApp all night long.
His birthday was on the 12th of December. He knew I was planning something for him, though I refused to say what. He agreed to come to my house then, and just then since he'd lost his job my dad found him an excellent one and helped him get to the interview. He got the job. Next day, he went to his hometown to see his brother who was sick, and said nothing to me until he was on his way already (mind, this from a person who'd previously shared even his minutest plans with me, whether I asked or no!) My father told me he'd be back in two days, but the next day he stopped coming online, calls went to voicemail, etc. I freaked out, with the situation as it is in Mexico, and my knowing he wouldn't even try to fight back if attacked in any way. Fortunately, though, he turned up again last week, messaging me from a friend's phone and apologizing for disappearing...said he'd been back for two days but didn´t show up on his bday because he was sick. I asked why he hadn't contacted me and he said his phone had died and he'd left the small one I gave him here. He told me he had come back only to say good-bye to me, he was going back to his town, and he asked when we might see each other. I told him I was off work Saturday, and he agreed.
Saturday came and went, and no Beren appeared, no message, nothing. I waited all day for him, as I wanted to give him his late birthday present and his birth certificate (our old boss asked me to give it to him) and hopefully work up the guts to finally tell him how I feel about him. Yesterday only my mom finally asked his friend about him and he said Beren was fine and just got another cell phone.
I don't think he doesn't care about me, the way he would look at me and speak to me, not at me, all speak of his caring. But why is he doing this!? Why is he leaving, when he just got a better job than he could get anywhere else without help, and will finally be able to live decently and help support his younger brother? Is it because of me? He knows, of course, that I don't think he should go; but he also knows I will support him no matter what; or at least I hope he does! Why no contact? All this only started with that dratted trip to his hometown. My mother is furious with him for leaving when we've helped him, but somehow I cannot get angry. It's his life and the last thing I want to do is control him. But he gave me enough signals... I thought he loved me, too. And if I don't see him again, I will never get the chance to finally express my feelings and work out the confusion, face-to-face.
He doesn't yet know I have his papers, because I have been unable to contact him at all and don't want to press him or get his phone number from his friend if he doesn't want me to have it for whatever reason. I am thinking of sending his friend a message asking him to tell Beren that he should pick up his birth certificate and then talking to him when I see him, but at the same time I don't want to be clingy...he knows I want to see him, he knows I care about him, and if he wants to I guess he will seek me out...? Should I offer the option to mail him his certificate in case he doesn't want to see me for whatever reason, or just ask him if he can come to pick it up?
What do you think is happening here? Does he like/love me, as he said he did? Should I try to use the papers as an excuse to see him, or should I offer to mail them to him? Why was he so eager to see me before and now doesn't seem to care? Do you think he will come to see me, after all? Should I make an effort to seek him out, or will that just make me look easy and desperate?
Please, please help! :'(
Some ideas I've had or heard from my friends/family as to what might be happening here (and mind, he is NOT a bad person, but I'll post them all here anyway):
- He saw his hometown and was seized with longing to go back
- He doesn't know how to face me to say goodbye
- He's afraid I'll be angry when/if we meet
- He never really cared for me or liked me at all
- He grew tired of me
- He finds it painful to be around me because he thinks I'll never love him back
- He met another girl he likes more than me