After The Breakup, Why The Hate....????

I've noticed over the years that there seems to be a trend among the masses of ex's of relationships for whatever reason, didn't workout, to engage in a smear campaign to vilify, demonize and assassinate the character of the person he or she was in the relationship with. I for one don't subscribe to or advocate such behavior, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to incoming hominem attacks by one time lovers, now ex's, on my character qualifiers. Trust me, I've been called horrible and malicious things by a few of my ex's. My problem with all this is, and maybe I'm old school. But I don't understand how two people who once loved each other, and in most cases were intimate, can find so much hate in their heart to treat their ex's like that after a breakup? I understand the emotional part that come with a breakup, but not the hate. I believe two people who once loved each other owes it to themselves to remain friends, no matter how bad the breakup. Excluding excruciating circumstances ( spousal abuse, child abuse, drug abuse - things like that )....

My last girlfriend( Dezeri ) has proudly with great fervor and with cruel intent, called me almost but short of every malicious word in the Webster Dictionary. And being on the receiving end can be a bit calamitous. I admit, I was not the best boyfriend. And I made many mistakes throughout hers and mine relationship. But that doesn't take away the fact that I loved her, because I did. I came into her and my relationship with many challenges. I was homeless, and extremely obese when I met her. I was going through allot in my life at the time, it was tough. Are relationship was unique. I say that because my ex and I were in an Interracial relationship, her being this beautiful African American female and myself being white. I have to admit, I probably didn't deserve her. Her and I were both subjected to allot of negative criticism, mainly from her family. They really didn't care to much about me, and pretty much wanted me out of the picture. They had created these false narratives about me backed up by lies. And constantly made degrading and disparaging comments about me as well. Anything to make me look bad, and something new everyday. It was hard on both myself and my ex, more so my ex. I can understand her families concern, I was living in a homeless shelter, overweight and did have anything going for me. So yea, I understand and can appreciate how they felt. But they didn't have to be so wicked towards me. They added poison to our relationship, that it became toxic. It was doomed to fail, I didn't even have a chance. There was just no way I could compete against my ex's family. I have to be fair here, and mention my actions as well. What I am about to share with is extremely embarrassing, and very shameful. I had done a few unbelievable things, things that were crazy and plain wrong. Here goes! There were a couple of times during heated arguments that I literally picked up something hard and hit myself in the head with it. I honestly don't know why I had done that. And also during our very last argument of her and my relationship,it got physical. My ex and I were exchanging words, and in the heat of the argument she had told me she didn't love me no more and that she had a new man. So I put my hand on her mouth and pushed her down hard on her bed. She had called the police, told them that I had chocked her. Which is not true. I ended up in jail for I think 160 days, give or take. I wasn't sentenced to jail, I just didn't have the money to pay the fees and fines. So it was a pay or stay situation. If I had the money I could of walked free that court day. Anyways! The breakup! So I get out of jail, and end back up at the same homeless shelter I was in when I met her. Okay! There were tragic events in her life that had happened. I sent her a card through the mail in regards to the event. She calls me a stalker! So now she is starting with the name calling. I was only trying to be supportive, and she calls me a stalker. That's crazy! I don't even go anywhere near her, nor do I go places I no she might be. I do everything I can to not run into her, that includes staying away from the part of town she lives on. Also, she created a twitter account in order to contact me because she felt I was, I can't recall, something with her cousin. I don't know, maybe she felt I was trying to get to her through her cousin. But anyways, using that new twitter account my ex accused me of trying to kill her, called me psychopath and yet again a stalker. She's even called me a crackhead. I don't even do drugs. And when we lived together she couldn't even get me to smoke weed. Let's not forget a woman beater, and I have a history of beating women. I admit, I have slapped my children's mother one time. She cheated on me. But I have a pattern of being violent towards women. From what I understand my ex was told by my probation officer that I had a history of violence towards women. When I confronted my probation officer about, she told me that she never told my ex anything like that. Oh! And lets not forget! She also called me a trick, saying I pay for sex. But that's my fault. I had posted on yahoo answers a year or so ago saying that I pay for escorts off of Craigslist. it was me trying to get a response from her. I wanted to see how she would react, that's all. I shouldn't of done that,and yes it was wrong. But it's not true, I pay for escorts. Anyways! I guess what my ex is failing to understand is, I'm not trying to get back with her. I'm just wanting to be friends, nothing more nothing less. It's clear she is one of those ex's in which I speak of. She doesn't believe ex's can be friends, while I on the other hand do. But you know what hurts me the worst? Is that me ex really hates me, and really believes I'm everything she calls me. I am a good person, with a wonderful heart. I have a conscience and empathy, so I'm no psychopath. Nor am I a crackhead, a violent woman beater or a trick. I'm just a guy who made a few mistakes in his relationship.

Okay! I was a bit transparent, and put some of my private personal business out there. I'm sure there will be those who will say something negative about me, and perhaps this post. But this post really wasn't meant to be about me. It's meant to encourage ex's to behave like two people who used to love each other. Not to bad mouth each and act like mortal enemy's. To be friends, nothing more.