Loving your ex still while in a relationship

Hello, advice pls :)

So i was with a guy from 14 years old to 21.
We had a good relationship. I loved him. We had a lot of similar interests and fun together. But we had issues of course. Lack of communication was a big one. When i would try to talk to him about something that bothered me (he would put me down sometimes, kind of jokingly but still) he would get defensive and brush me off. At the end of the relationship he seemed distant and uncaring towards me. He didnt want to play games with me like we used to, he seemed more interested in talking to his friends etc. but i couldnt really talk to him about any of this. I guess i was scared to because i didnt want him to get offended or tell me that we should break up.

So after crying for like, two weeks straight i sent a long text to him and broke it off. And ya, i shouldnt have done it by text but im a coward and didnt think id be able to do it in persom.

He wasnt mad. He was kind and told me hed always love me and be there for me if i needed him.

Two months later i was asked out by a friend of mine whom id known well for about two years. I was still in love with my ex and i told him this, but he said that it was okay.

Weve been together for eight months. I thought that by now id be over my ex. The other day he texted me after i had been playing vid games with his bros (long distance) and we tlked a little. I shouldnt have responded, rly. He told me a few months ago out of the blue that he had moved on from me. Thats helped me get over him a little.

Its just, i dont know if i made a mistake leaving him. How do you even know? I left him because i thought hed fallen out of love with me and it depressed me.

I do love my current bf, but it doesnt feel like the same kind of love i had with my ex, even tho on paper i think my bf would win. Hes sweet and nice and caring and compliments me. Hes amazing but im His first girlfriend and i know he loves me so much. I feel like im not emotionally available all the way for him. I feel really bad that i still love my ex. I think he assumes im over my ex by now. And hes told me he doesnt want me talking to my ex before, and he cried when i told him i texted him a few times. I feel a little confused and its not like i can talk to my bf about this, which i also hate. Does this always happen? How long till im over my ex or will i always feel this way, wondering if i should have just tried to talk to him before i broke it off? I cant hurt my bf. Hes sensitive and sweet and i just cant do it. I just wish i would have waited longer before dating again. Ive basically never been single my entire life.

Thank you for any advice or words

What kind of answers are you looking for? Its shitty, rude, and cruel of you to be with your "boyfriend" and be giving this much attention to the memory of your ex. So much attention that you are posting on a forum, for what? For validation that its okay for you to still be pining after your ex? If its advice youre looking for, here's mine.... stop texting your ex, stop thinking about him, devote your attention to your boyfriend, stop looking backwards. If you cant do that, then break up with him now, because you are going to hurt him regardless, but it will hurt more the longer you let this linger on. He doesn't deserve this.
Why do people do this? Its so cruel to the unsuspecting new person that surely doesn't see this coming.