Dating & Crushing

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now. It has been going good and everything, but recently I started talking to an old friend again. I will refer to my old friend as Cole. Cole and I started talking online almost 2 years ago. He was the first guy that never tried to get me to send nudes or anything sexual. It was just a nice friendship with mutual attraction. We talked on and off in the past 2 years and we have never met before. He lives in a different state so we never tried to pursue a relationship. Now him and I are talking again just as friends. It hurts because Cole is what I have been wanting ever since I met him but it's impossible to ever have him. I don't want to confess my feelings for him because I don't want to ruin both my friendship with him and I don't want to ruin my relationship I have with my boyfriend. I am not a cheater and I never will be a cheater. My feelings for my boyfriend have been fluctuating. Apart of me really likes him, but another part I am so uncertain. We only get to see each other once a week because he lives almost 2 hours away. I feel as though I am not ready for a serious relationship, as much as I would love one. I am scared to be committed to someone I am uncertain of. I am scared of everything right now and I don't know what to do. Apart of me thinks I should say something to Cole and see what his feelings are, but another part of me just wants to keep the friendship how it is. I am so confused.