Hi Guys, I'm new and all that.
My name is Donna, I am just looking around here and getting an idea about how things work here. I've always been interested in the spiritual side of life. Nothing really calls to me though. I guess I'm really just searching for a way forward as I really feel stuck. I'm 27 and a barista for a local mom and pop coffeehouse. I love the whole coffeehouse culture thing. When I was a teenager my family owned a coffeehouse in Santa Cruz California. That's where I grew up. I studied art in school, never graduated but I still dabble. I guess someday I hope I could become the type of artist that gets paid for her work but whatever, someday right? I'll probably always have paint splattered clothes and paintbrushes by my sink you know?
I'm single now but just got out of a really rough relationship. I feel like I gave so much but he didn't appreciate it and in the end I found out he had cheated on me. He was another artist type and had this whole free love thing going on. When I found out he cheated he didn't consider what he had done was cheating. Supposedly his heart was always mine but sexuality is supposed to be open as part of human experience? WTF? I mean come on. I seem to be old fashioned in light of the company I keep but I really want to be with someone who really wants to be with only me? In every way! Does that even exist anymore? Did it ever?! It seems like everywhere you turn someone is cheating on someone else. I don't want that stuff. I want what I want I guess I just don't know if anyone else wants it you know?
Anyway that's beside the point I guess except that this breakup really made me start yearning for something more in my life a spiritual connection I want to get closer to the Divine, not the whole white bearded god in the sky like was taught about in my grandmas churches but that divine that thing I feel when I am painting or when Im'm hiking? That probably just sounds silly but its how I feel anyway. I just don't know where to start. I'm really lost.
Anyways, that's me for now.
~Donna
