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Confusion. Heart broken.
So I could use some opinions and advice. I was engaged and we broke it off in the summer of 2015. He's a big drinker and caused a lot of arguments. Never sober when he was home from work. We didn't have quality time together. He begged for me back for months but I knew nothing had changed. I started seeing someone who broke it off with me.
For the past week I was hanging out with my ex fiancé. Who has a new gf for one month and is moving her across the country to live with him. He's finally now realizing he can't be drinking like that and it breaks my heart that someone else will reap the benefits of all my hard work. I feel like he's settling. It's pretty obvious without being said that we still care for eachother. I'm not trying to interfere with what he has now but do I hold any hope he'll come back?
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Confusion. Heart broken.
Hello Jennalee,
I'm sorry to tell you this but please stop hurting yourself. Yes you may find it that you both still care for each other because you did love each other then but don't get this wrong. You see he has moved on already with his new one and as you've said they're settling down. It's normal that you feel jealous but don't let jealous ruin you but just be happy for him. He wont forget about you, You contributed a lot for what he is now and he is happy thankful for sure that you were there when he needs someone to understand him. Best is to learn to accept so you would be able to move on also. Best of luck.
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She won't reap the benefits of your hard work. If he is dedicated to sobriety, then HE will be reaping the benefits of HIS hard work. Addiction is a disease and it's not easy for someone to recover from. Someone with addiction doesn't "get over it", they have to relearn how to handle human emotions and how to communicate effectively and appropriately, in a healthy way. He never had to do that. Why you think anything will be different between him and his new girlfriend is beyond me. But I do understand the anxiety you feel, because you think, "why couldn't he have got his sh*t together when we were together?" but he hasn't got his sh*t together, and you are much better off out of this relationship. It is not up to you to shape the behavior of someone you want to be with, they should already be healthy, mature, and respectful and loving. You have the opportunity to move forward and to find someone else who IS ready for commitment, and who can give you what you need from a relationship. Take it. There are much better guys out there who you would be much better off with.