She keeps on dating other guys but says she likes me a lot...

okay, i've been dating this girl for a month now, and we have seen each other 5 times.
From the beginning, she was looking for a serious relationship and defined herself as trustworthy.
I had manged to keep her attention over text and was very surprised to see she was interested as much as i was.

The first day we went on a date, she was feeling nervous enough for me to take it easy and not go for the kiss. We went to have a drink and play air hockey, which we found very entertaining. She felt really good with me, and me with her too. At the end of the date, she proposed we saw each other again a couple of days afterwards and she told me she thought we connected very well and had a lot of fun.
I was being not so flirtatious because i could feel she was holding back a little bit.

A couple of days later, we went into a date again, we had a drink somewhere different and played again air hockey as a "rematch" excuse.
Again, i was keeping my distance but trying to inch closer. We spoke about feelings we had gone through, some not very good, but most of them were happy and thrilling. We asked each other for interests and so on, and everything was going great. At the end of the date she hugged me very strong and told me that i was great. I kept on texting as usual, not using the predictable questions that people normally ask, flirting, teasing, speaking about her interests while sliding in some information about me, challenging her in a fun way...

A couple of days later i see she posted a photo with a guy, next to a couple of cute emojis. At the beginning i thought this was just a friend, as i use these emojis myself when i post things with my female friends. So no big deal from that perspective.

For the next three days, she was a bit colder via text and i felt clearly we had not quite the same fluent conversations as we had. I tried to fight back showing new interesting things about me (i sang in a rock band, i was a model and appeared on tv, i spoke 3 languages, and letting my emotional intelligence do the job) not bragging about anything and it made it a little better. But it still wasn't the same.
So i asked if everything was cool, if she needed more space or less texting. And she told me there was no problem, she liked me and wanted to keep on getting to know me better.

Next time went on a date, i wanted to take her to the beach, and just as we departed towards it, it started raining.
Luckily i had a backup plan for such an eventuality: we were going to go bowling. And so, we did. We laughed a lot, i subtly showed off my "skills", i tought her what i knew and so on.
Afterwards, we went to have dinner to a cool place, and then walked in the night for a bit. We were speaking about how awesome we felt when we performed (she dances in quite a good level) and, in all this cloud of emotions, the kiss came. After we broke the kiss barrier, everything was suddently MUCH better: more hugs, more laughs, she danced for me, i sang for her...
Overall this was a lot of fun. And i felt like the doubts i had were of little importance..

Over the next days, she kept on speaking less that we used to. So i eased it off a bit, trying not to push her back too far. But we spoke ever day. I used many techniques i learnt over the years and some newer ones i just aquired. It seemed to bring back the flame a tiny bit.

In the time span of 3 days since we last saw each other (i saw this on a Tuesday), i see Snapchat posts with this guy again, with some little hearts and so on. I shut my mouth.

We said we would see each other together one week later (Saturday), because she had homework and stuff to do, and i understood, because i had just a couple of days with nothing to worry about.
Meanwhile, the texting keeps on feeling not quite as good as it used to be.


On Thursday i see yet another post with this guy on Instagram. I clicked on his profile and i found out he was italian, a year younger than me (2 older than her), and was in some kind of army. The lowest levels, of course.
And i saw more hearts and so on.

At this point, after giving it a thought, i spoke to her by telephone and told her that if it happened that she no longer had interest or started losing it, she should tell me, and i would just leave her alone. (She spoke about some guy who was quite obsessed with her, and she wanted to dump him, but she felt sorry. She finally did it all by herself, and i feared she was feeling sorry for me to, and wanted to keep in touch but subtly letting everything cool doown to try not to hurt me...- just in case-)
I didn't say anything about her italian "friend". She told me she was cool, and that she wanted to see me on saturday, cause she missed me.
I believed her, but i still was keeping my eyes open in case she wasn't feeling confortable telling me to leave.

We saw each other in the night. We went to a very cool garden with pools and benches. One of the most special places in the country.
We made out in the place, and then we went to the back of the car, and everything got a little bit more sexual, but in a romantic way.. it was weird i felt this.
We spent quite a lot of hours doing this and being teasy with one another.
I though this was the push i needed to finally make her feel that little bit extra i needed to finally engage her.

On Sunday i see yet another post with this same guy. Now with big hearts and romantic textes...

Next day i go to see her in person to speak with her. I tell her i don't mind the fact she is seeing other people, what i do mind is that she keeps on going out with me once a week, when she has seen this guy three times a week, but wanted to keep me nearby -that is what really pisses me off-. I was hyper respectful and super considerate not to make hel feel awkward.

She says he's an italian friend of her best friend, and they are showing him around the city. I knew he wasnt but i made her understand i believed her.

I get home and log in facebook. A photo of her shows up in the feed, and i see an italian guy has just liked this photo. i click and voilà, it was him
they had no friends in common (so she lied to me when she said she was friends with him because of her best friend). She met him after we started dating on a dating app.

I didn't start a conversation with her. I was planning to slowly ditch her out. And the next day she writes to me just like normal. I keep on speaking, less and less to the point that she asks me what's wrong with me. I tell her what i had found out and that i didn't want to be a problem between her and the guy, and after a ten minutes i get a call of her.

She was crying because she didn't want to lose me, and she justified herself posting so much stuff by saying that she wanted her ex to see that she had moved on. When i called her she "realized" that i also could see her posts (just like everyone can) and that this was very selfish of her.
She apologized but she told me she wanted to keep speaking with me and seeing me.
I forgave her, but reminded her that whenever she felt i was being overtaken, she had to tell me in order to hurt me as little as possible.

We met up again, she was a tiny bit nervous, but i wanted her to know that this was not such a big deal. so we kissed again and so on.

We stop texting as often, case "she was studying for the exams that were about to come". This was true, but she couldn't find time to see me or text me back every 4 o 5 hours...
She could find time to go to the cinema with this guy and post about it.

I spoke to her one last time to tell her that i wasn't going to do anything else for both of us, and that i was leaving. i was not mad at her meeting people, as we weren't in a relationship, i was mad at her lying to me, telling she had no time, when she had time to spare... plus i told her i didn't wanted to meet up with someone who'd rather do it with someone else. I was being pretty rational about it

She came begging i didn't get mad and promised she'd find time for me whenever she had some time. she excused herself saying that she wasn't in the mood , due to the exams and that she didn't want to screw it just because she wasn't feelinf¡ng 100% in the mood.

The exams have ended and she has planned to date me when she has no dance class, on Thursday, so we spend a lot of hours together.

I have just discovered she was seeing someone else from this dating app after we met. It seems they are not seeing each other anymore currently.
But she's still adding people from this apps. (which i have discovered today by myself)

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? I'VE NEVER BEEN SO CONFUSED

She's playing the field, which she has every right to do because you two have not discussed being exclusive. I'm not saying that your feelings aren't justified, I would feel the same way if I were in your position, but what I am saying is it's fair game to date as many people as you want, as long as you are unattached to someone and haven't committed to being with only one person. It does sound like she likes you and enjoys your company, but honestly, some of the stuff you said makes you come across a little cocky. Be careful not to talk only about yourself and what you are best at. I am sure you are great at a lot of things, but try not to make it just about you. If you want to get to know someone, put yourself in the back seat and put your focus on asking questions about the other person, and enjoying your time with them.

Also, you've only been seeing this lady for one month. Yes, you've spent quite a bit of time together within that month, but a month is still 4 weeks. Most people need more time to decide whether or not they want to take a relationship to the next level, and she sounds like one of those people. Are you even at the point where you are willing to become exclusive with her, and take things to the next level? As long as she stops dating other guys, i presume (lol).

I think you need to talk to her about how you've been feeling. It doesn't have to be some gushy, emotional thing. But I think you should let her know that it's making you uncomfortable when she flashes her sexcapades in front of you, via social media, or however else you've witnessed this behavior.

Part of dating is realizing that until you have both discussed, and decided to be exclusive, both people are free to do whatever (and whomever) they want. Which means, you can go out there and meet as many different women as you want as well. It's not even about sleeping with people, it can be a fun way to get out on the dating scene and give yourself the opportunity to meet new, fun, exciting people. You may meet a cool friend along the way, you will probably meet a bunch of duds, and you may just meet the right person. There's no way to know if this particular woman is the right person for you yet, but in my experience, if this situation is creating this much anxiety for you after only one month of seeing each other, that's not a great sign.

Best of luck to you!

First of all, i'd lik to thank you a ot for your response. It's long and proofs you have read it all over, and i appreciate that ;)

I do understand that because we aren't a couple there is this freedon to do whatever you want. I don't feel angry because of that. I feel i'm being lied to because whenever she (let's call her N from now on :D ) posts things, she had no time for anything, when she should have said "i don't have time for YOU just yet".
And, because she has freedom to do whatever she wants, so do I, but i don't feel quite right with the idea of seeing more girls. When i found out she felt right about it, i texted an old friend with whom i had done... things... just because i had thought of it before meeting N, and because N did this. i didn't even meet up with this friend.

About the cockynes hahahaaha. I think i didn't explain myself there, and reading it again, it does sound like i was. All this "interesting things" which i was speaking about came in a very natural way, and it wasn't the main opic of the conversation for more than 10 minutes. I said these things whenerver i felt she was losing interest and whenever i wanted to raise the energy of the conversation a little bit up, so she "invested more" and make a little bit of game out of that.
Maybe the "cocky impression" you've got is due to me having mentioned my techniques like "he thinks he knows everything" hahhaa. I just did it in order to give ideas to people who might read this, as i find it very useful.

And yes, 1 month is not much, but because it is starting to drive me nuts, 1 month is too soon or late to know if it is worth the effort :)
And, on paper, i have my doubts about taking it seriously with this girl. But i was pretty certain N had the values and qualities to become the one eventually.

She has stopped posting this kind of things, and seems quite willing, but i dont know how much of that willingness is actually going to last more than the couple of days it lasts to see more posts :D

Thank you so much again!! Good luck :D

I definitely understand where you are coming from and have been in the same position before. The thing is, everyone is busy. All of us lead busy lives, but nobody is too busy to give time and attention to the people they care about. If Beyonce can text Jay-Z, N can damn well text/snap you even if she has a hundred things to do in a day, and especially if she is snapping/posting things on social media. I think you did the right thing by talking to her about it, and she did seem apologetic, which is a good sign. Sometimes people aren't aware of how their behavior effects others, so when you point it out to them, it's important to give them a chance to rectify that.

I am glad you clarified the cockiness statement I made earlier. I can see, with your thoughtful response, how I misread that information. My apologies! Of course you have great qualities about you, and qualities that any woman would be lucky to find in a partner. Part of dating is to be open to the idea of accepting people for their qualities, negative and positive. As you get to know someone, you will notice different things about them than you did before. Sometimes it's a positive thing, and sometimes.... not so much lol. The main thing is that you are trying to give this a chance, and it sounds like she is, too.

I think you should take her at her word for now. I think it's a little too early to throw in the towel, because even though some of her behavior isn't stellar, it's not a huge red flag at this point; at least not yet. Take it one day at a time and feel things out for the next couple weeks or so and see how things go. If you start to notice a repeat in her old patterns, or you feel the connection fading, it may be time to call it quits. Until then, just have fun getting to know her, without the pressure of expectations. It's difficult to do, because we all like to think ahead and get excited about the prospect of a new relationship. But the fewer expectations you have, and the more you are open to just getting to know her and seeing how things go, I think it will be more fun that way.

I wish you the best! Keep us posted on your progress!

I have just seen A LOT of snaps with this guy on the beach she's just posted when she was supposed to be "in dance class". She lied to me again. I guess enough is enough

Yeah, that's not a good sign. If ending things now feels right for you, then I think you should do that. Do not waste your time on people who can't be bothered to respect you enough to be honest with you. Sorry to hear that. Don't give up! There are plenty of women out there who don't act this way, and who would be lucky to be with you.