Rape-ish incidents in relationship
So, first some background. I've known by bf for a few years, and we started dating ~2 years ago. After half a year together, we got drunk, had a fight, and he fingered me after I said NO. I just panicked and froze, but got really mad afterwards. He didn't understand why I was mad, and went to sleep.
After that, we had a long talk, and I felt like he understood that he violated my boundaries, and I felt reassured that it wouldn't happen again.
A while later, we were having sex, and he kept hitting my cervix even after I told him that it hurt a lot and that I didn't like it. He always wanted to put my legs up on his shoulders, even though he knew that it was both painful and uncomfortable for me. Some times I would start crying, but he wouldn't stop, he was completely caught up in his own moment.
Again, after talking about it I felt like things might get better. Didn't. After several talks and one break-up, we've had a few incident-free months.
I want to stress this - he's not a selfish guy. He always gives me all the love I can handle, and is very considerate and thoughtful. I honestly don't think he had any ill intent in either of these cases. I also feel like he doesn't understand what it's like to feel violated by someone you love and trust.
However, I'm still very much suffering. I don't have much of a sex drive, and associate vaginal sex with pain.
Today, he said something dismissive when I mentioned something in the news about a gang rape charge being dropped (but he was very upset about another piece of news about a woman suing her ex husband who got rich after their divorce), and I just lost it. I still feel like he doesn't get it, and doesn't care. I am starting to think that this relationship isn't salvageable...
Help me, what do I do?