Making the best of time

My boyfriend of two years broke (tried to?) up with me one week after our second child was born. We moved very quickly in our relationship during the first three months, and have slide a very steep and slippery slope ever since. Just when things started to get better after the birth of our first child, there I was pregnant with number 2.

I've spent most of our relationship complaining about not havingvmy needs met, particularly spending time alone with him and together as a family with our kids. Of course, the little I did get has withered to nothing the more I've complained.

He never used to respond with his qualms, rather simply state that I'm overreacting, he's here, and it'll all work out. I begged to differ that in order for it to work out, we needed to work on our relationship.

I don't even remember what I was complaining about when he finally opened up to me. He said he is miserable living with me, he feels nothing for me, he's leaving, that I'm miserable, depend too much on him for happiness, make him feel guilty about everything he does, that his kids come first - relationships are secondary, and that hes been waiting months to say all this as he wanted a healthy child.

It has now been two months since this conversation, and I have been doing my best to make changes in my demeanour and approach to him. I don't believe my motives were in vain, however I do recognize my approach was the downfall of our relationship. I have had to outbursts since, but he is still here. I see he is making inklings of change too. He still introduces me as his girlfriend.

Today, I tried to talk to him about what relationships mean to him, as I want to understand him and see what further changes I can make, and if I'm even willing to make them. In the conversation, he mentioned obligation, and that he is staying because he feels that I need him financially.

While I would struggle initially if he left me, it is nothing a few lifestyle changes wouldn't fix. He has no problem leaving his other kids mothers, (I'm the third) yet he is staying although he claims to be unhappy. I have not mentioned to him that I want to give us one more real try, though I'm certain he knows I want to keep our family together.

Is his staying a sign that he still wants it to work? Do I have the conversation or hope our individual growth will naturally progress the relationship? How do I maximize the value of his stay, knowing I'm not certain when or if he'll pack his bags and leave?