To not be loved or to go?!

My boyfriend of ten months doesn't 'love' me

I've been with my current boyfriend for about 10 months now. We met through Airbnb. He stayed at my apartment and I took him out with me the last night he was staying. When he left the next day, he said he wanted to see me again.

So we started hanging out all the time and getting along really well. We just seemed to be on the same page. I remember thinking "how did you even find this guy"?. And I wasn't alone with those feelings as he, too, expresses that "do you even know how hard it is to find someone like you".
So a couple months in, it was New Years eve and we were watching the fireworks (cheesy, i know). I was filled with hope and positivity after having found a person I could relate to in so many aspects. After two failed relationships that resulted in what I like to call 'my inability to feel', I had finally found someone that made me feel I wanted and more. I just couldn't hold back the tremendous emotions that seemed to overwhelm me so I said "I love you". His response: "it's too early to say that".

So, I am the kind of person that says what they feel, when they feel it. He is not.

It didn't bother me too much. After all it was early in the relationship and I did not say those words because I wanted him to reciprocate but purely because I couldn't hold myself back. Which is what I said to him as well.

Our relationship continued and my feelings continued to grow. There was a phase (about 1 1/2 months) in which he was very distant. We barely saw each other at all (he says because of work) but I am a firm believer of 'making' time for priorities. At point I actually saw no sense in out relationship because he was never there. Much happened in my life and he missed out. So after one of his trips home to Italy (he's Italian and we live in Vienna) he called and we had a fight because he didn't, as was usual at that time, message or text me or respond to my calls while away. We decided to meet a day later to talk and I had already made my mind up to brake up. I was sure I was wasting my time.

Surprisingly enough, the conversation we had was rather constructive and soothing. And even better, after this serious talk we both decided to try harder and make it work. After all,we both thought it was worth a fight. The relationship continued astoundingly good and we got along so well that he recently moved in with me.

I am very happy in our relationship and love him more every day.

The problem is this, he has never said he loves me. It was an issue in the beginning but after 10 months I'm starting to feel insecure. He once told me he doesn't say the words because of bad experiences in the past, because he knows how fast everything can change and that he swore himself to never say that phrase before years of relationships. Recently we've had a lot of conversations about this which have resulted in tears on my side. In that conversation he said "when I would say those words to you it would mean that I would be sure, that I would want to marry you and have children, that there would be no doubts". What I heard was: I don't want children with you, don't want to marry you, because I'm not sure about you and I have doubts about you. I do not want him to commit to me on marriage or children. I'm not really the type of woman to settle down and not at all that fast. But he basically said he is unsure about me. And I ask myself: when can you ever be sure?

Recently it has moved to the next level. Now, every time I say a phrase with some emotional meaning he smashes me down.

Me: I'm happy you live here with me now
Him: don't say that yet
Me: I could imagine a long relationship with you
Him: you can't say that yet
Me: you make me so happy
Him: just wait
Me: I love you
Him: you only think that now

And it goes on and on. I've told him how hurtful it is to have my openly expressed emotions demeaned like that. I mean, he is not the only one with bad experiences. I've had my fair share, believe me, and never thought I'd fall again. But that hasn't stopped me from trying again. After I thought I was emotional cripple I took all the courage I had and tried again. I got over the past and I don't want to project the bad experiences of the past on our current or future prospects. And I too, am not sure of children or this or that. I don't know what the future holds, what happens, what breaks. Who knows that? No one? I'm sure of one thing: I want him and I love him and I want to try. And after giving him time and space I truly think that either he wants me now or he never will. Refusing me to be happy by not allowing me to express how I feel is avoidance to me.

So my question is: what to do? Was moving in together an attempt of me to bring a man close who is in fact emotionally far away? Should I pressure him to express feelings? ( I don't want that). Should I break up? Should I wait? Am I heading for failure by loving a man who cannot truly commit?

Any help is greatly appreciated. I'm sure an outsiders view could help!