Need Women's opinions

After being separated for 10 months, I think I've forgiven myself. I have been married for 27 years. We did not get married under the best of cirucmstances; a pregnancy was involved. But the marriage has a silver lining: three great children.
I am just wondering if these behaviors in the marriage were just part of marriage, or dysfunctional.
My wife would throw temper tantrums. She frequently would interpret what I said as a way to put her down, to demean her intelligence.
Here's an example: On a number of occasions, when I was driving, she would suggest I park in a certain spot or immediately pull in to a certain shopping area. I always felt her instructions were last minute, so of course, by the time she pointed or told me where to drive, I was beyond the point of turning before I could react. She said this was my way of saying she was wrong and less intelligent. One time when this happened, when we were in a big city and were going to park near a shopping strip, when I did park in the area, she got out of the car and just started walking down the street.
I don't think she ever trusted me. If she did, why would she think I was always trying to put her down.
But then again, I don't think I ever trusted her.
A number of times during the marriage, she would get so upset that she would threaten suicide.
At first I would always talk her down. Then about 10 years ago I just stopped caring. Not that I wished she would commit suicide. I came to recognize these were empty threats intended to manipulate me.
The final straw came last spring, after a week in which she was angry with me and would not talk for a week. After that, I really didn't care, and about a week later I said it was over and wanted a divorce. She said she ws blindsided, and I guess I can see why, because I never brought up my feelings about all these behaviors because I didn't want to unleash her anger.
I had many faults in this marriage, too. Probably not communicating. But down deep, I don't think I was ever totally committed.
After the split, we tried marital counseling. It was then that the counselor said that I had codependent tendencies, caused by a long-term anxiety problem. It explained why I would, at first, try everything to smooth things over and try to act the role of a dedicated husband.
After the split, I always had guilt about how I ended things and had problems with the idea of divorce. It is not something people in our family have done. We have three adult children and I am concerned about their reaction to the ending of the marriage.
But yesterday I was thinking about all this, and suddenly got some peace because I think I finally forgave myself.