neither friend nor a lover

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Not a friend nor a lover

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daisyy's Avatar
daisyy said:Today 08:57 AM


Not a friend nor a lover



Hi guys! I decided to share my story with you to get a second opinion as the situation is driving me crazy and mostly confused.

I met this guy a year ago in his city where I had a job interview. He then invited me for a festival which was in this city two weeks later so I stayed at his place. Ever since we first met I knew he's the type of a man I'm looking for, mostly because of similar interests, sense of humour and life views but also because of this incredible chemistry between us.
I then moved to his city because I found a job there but mostly because I wanted to see if this can lead to something serious ... Since he has a job which requires a lot of travelling he's out of the town at least once a month for a week. He likes to travel privately as well. BUT that wouldn't be a problem if we would spend most of his time here together. The problem is I'm usually the one who text him first. Even though he always responds within a couple of minutes and in a flirty way, I'm getting mixed signals from him.
We only meet once in a month, but whenever we do, it seems we know each other for years, that we have something special and a strong chemistry. The first time we kissed was half a year ago and ever since we're always passionately kissing but once we get to his appartment we just hug each other and fall asleep (we aren't THAT drunk). We hold each others hands and have a late breakfast /lunch next day, he borrows me his tshirt and it feels like we're a couple. A couple with one mistake - they don't have sex. I'm wondering where did the things go wrong. He's not gay and he does feel attraction for me. If nothing, he likes to elegantly spank me while drinking at the bar. For the first few months I though he might be really serious or doesn't want to settle down yet but the thing is he always behaves like he truly cares about me (he borrowes me a coat so he's freezing just because of me), is protective and shows everyone around we're at least really close if not a couple (yet). He introduced me to most of his friends and we get along very well.
I can see firework of sparkles in his eyes whenever we talk or we just look in each others eyes in a flirty way without saying a word. But then he doesn't text me/call me next day (unless if I start first).
we're not only making out when being in a club but he alsi kisses me on forehead and hugs me. I really feel we could make a good couple but I'm too shy to tell him I have feelings for him. If I'd knew he feels the same I'd do the next move (he actually did the first one when we crossed the friendship line and first kissed).
I have to mention I'm 26 and he's 37 but that doesn't bother him and he knows I had a 2 years long relationship with 10 years older guy. His longest relationship was almost 8 years and we're now both single for nearly 2 years.
Oh, and one more thing; the last weekend when we met I came with my other guy friend and his company and He (the one I like) seemed to be really jealous. I wanted to introduce them but He didn't want to. He turned around at a bar. He (my almost lover) then put his arms around me in a protective way.

Anyway, when we're out with his friends women usually approach us but he doesn't lose interest in me. When I tease him with 'we have a new company' he responded with you can easily find girls like these but not the serious one'. If this applied to me - I don't know but he once answered me he doesn't like me only when he's drunk and thst I'm the sweetest thing.
I started thinking he might be one of the guys who simply don't have to do the first move since they're handsome and charming enough that women do this instead.

Is it worth trying one more time and ask him straight what is he up to? Might be that he's not sure if I'm for a relationship either. He did have ff half a year ago and he told me she's like obsessed with him and still text him 16messages a day sometimes.

What do you guys think??