I over texted and he called me impatient.. trying to strategize now..

so this guy and I chatted online for over a year (two different states)... we finally met up after being in the same state and of course the chemistry was there (which I suppose one always hopes for but is not always guaranteed) and we met up three nights in the two weeks I was there (I wasn't modest and had two sleepovers, I supposed waiting always keeps them a little more serious about you :/ )

fast forward, I left the state early due to the death of a family member and have been emotional. He told me not to disappear as he's a good listener... challenge is tho he doesn't call and responds to text but being that we don't really have any sort of foundation I suppose I can't expect more. He says nice things like he wasn't expecting to form a bond like this, how I'm a wonderful person bla bla bla

last night I texted and never heard back and of course am dramatic and texted again today and he called me impatient and said he would respond later. he's pretty busy with work and his extra curricular outdoor activities.

In writing and reading this, it seems the signs are clear that I need to just let it be what it is and nothing more. Just the question is why do guys bother to write such nice things about wishing we lived closed, how amazing we are as women and words that express so much sweetness that it makes us women think they really are in it for more. I suppose if he was he'd be calling every day. but long distance doesn't work. just the extremely beautiful words written to make my heart beat seem out of line with his actions . I guess the steps forward are to leave him the f alone. no one wants to be seen as annoying.

thanks in advance

2 texts in 2 days is not impatient. perhaps its what you said in those texts that came off as impatient? as far as "why do guys do this" - lets' be straight. WOMEN DO THIS just as often as men! ok?

so here are your answers:
1. you are now admitting that "it is what it is" - learn where you allowed it to be that way and learn how not to allow it in the future.
2. yo have a very low and sterotypical opinion of men and i'm pretty sure guys are reading that off of you pretty easily (i read it).. and when we come across girls like ou that just think men are 2nd class citizens - there is an element of "oh yeah? i'll show you" in us. so.. LEARN TO RESPECT and treat men with respect and see us in a respectful way and youll probably get more repsectful treatment.

think lowly of us and assume the worst and that everything is our fault - and we'll probaly treat you like a lowly person.

look in the mirror on this one.

I agree, 1 text a day isn't impatient, especially if he told you to contact him and he would listen to you. I think you need to chalk it up to just a fling. You live far apart and you hooked up a few times, and that's it. He probably liked your company and did think those things about you at the time, but didn't see it going anywhere past a couple days fling. If you expect more from someone, be upfront about that before you get romantically involved. Don't just assume they are mind readers. Lots of people do this, women do it too (I have many times). Just pick yourself up and move on.

"The chemistry was there", honestly, do n`t you mean virtually never. So without any conscious effort the two of you were a perfect fit, right? That would have been heaven for you both. That is truly exceptional, more so than empathy being spontaneously in place. Keeping them waiting? - There is some magic lost, hard to define, but lost all the same when physical attraction is converted into hard sex. Those that do n`t experience this loss may be over sexed/ may not be capable of the ultimate depths in genuine selfless love. This is only a notion though. Engage in sex early in a relationship and it can all too easily become the man`s preoccupation. This state being driven by his innate drive. With sex tends to come total emotional seduction, more often of course for the female, and this environment of one being off one`s head in emotion is the very worst one in terms of making rational decisions as to whether you are in fact with the right guy. Yes, it may well have been too early.

For me it is not enough information about him to have any certainty of his state of mind. Do n`t forget the old tapes in this. We are a product of past circumstance, and who knows where an overly controlling former partner may have led him. You should have discussed all this on line, but not all men are forthcoming even there, especially if they consider it may be points against them. It definitely hints at a man that does n`t wish to feel trapped, and it might just be that he is feeling the pressure to make a very serious decision before there is adequate data to be processed. It may go nowhere from his end, but your best strategy should you wish to find out is in playing it truly cool.

Youre not been impatient, maybe he sees it that way because hes seriously busy and the days just feel like nothing when you work a lot, i said this because i've been there, so don't take that comment so serious, give him some time and don't let him fool you with only words, actions are also needed to really believe its real substance, lasting love, don't be so sure yet, a good way to solve this is to wait for him to have some time for a good talk and ask him, maybe hes not aware of what is going on, we all have different perspectives and it's hard to know from one head to another, be clear, tell him you really like him and ask him if hes interested in the same way you are, i know it's cheesy to say: but it's important to communicate.

let us know how it goes

I also 100% totally agree with Love Addicted. I wonder what his middle name/names are?!! This one certainly does cover a lot of possibility. I just do not think that you should move straight in there now with more of what might be experienced in terms of entrapment, entrapment perhaps only because the relationship may have moved on too fast for him. I agree with it all, and its order, only I`d take a step back first, communicate with him as a friend, only, and check out his emotional attachment with you later, perhaps even some time later. I cannot guarantee that this is the better approach for your unique circumstance, and no matter how much information you provide me with it can never meet the actual reality of the relationship on the ground. Our thoughts should definitely help you, but finally it is your decision, your best instinct, and it will still be you doing all the real work.

Hey natalialoves,

I agree, long distance relationships are a challenge.

There is that anticipation of seeing each other and when they are not around other things fill their place. Almost like out of sight, out of mind.

Guys can be gentlemen and some have expectations. When each of you have different expectations, conflict shows up. When the actions of each other are selfless, serving each other, things work better than the selfish, all about me.

Time may tell. Does the conversation include "nice things" or is it more about a physical desire?

Does this guy seem like he could be a future husband?

I saw this about waiting for your mate: bit.ly/2kAl839

J

what do you want?