Boyfriend seems to have an issue with spending money on me?
When we first met, I was signed with a modelling agency so I had acquired some money. However he was/is a university student and his parents pay for his costs. He is the only child and I've observed he has little understanding of the value of money just judging by past comments. I'm not modelling anymore, transitioning and waiting to find other work in the next few months. I'm 20, so my parents are happy with financially looking after me. Initially I noticed he was hesitant to buy me food when we were out.
Our first proper date, he asked if we could go Dutch. He's not the romantic type where he would buy me flowers. I was somewhat offended by this. Whenever we go out for lunches or dinners, he occasionally will offer to pay full but only when his parents have told him that he must pay. I even noticed a few times while at his house, we would be on his computer, I would mention that I'm hungry and I could easily make something at his house yet his mother doesn't cook so there are few condiments, whereas I was brought up in an environment where if you're hungry, you either make something, eat what is left or go out and buy something. I would mention I'm hungry yet he would just change it to the fact that he's not hungry and won't eat lunch therefore we probably wouldn't go out. I remember once instance where he wanted me to get the morning after pill as he was nervous, the clinic only took a particular payment so I had to end up paying. I thought at least, he may have passed some money over afterwards. Yes I can move past that because in scheme of things, it is small but I do notice it and sometimes it hurts.
It's my birthday coming up and he wanted to send me his bank statement regarding something else, I noticed he spent $300 on something so I asked what it was. He said it's my birthday present and that he made it clear he spent a lot of money on me, this somewhat made me feel bad. He said to me "Even my parents asked why I've spent so much money on your birthday present when I've only known you for 6 months" I reassured him that I never asked or expected this. It was almost like a guilt trip - that's how I felt anyway. I had a flight booked to travel with him for a few months, I accidentally canceled it. He was obviously angry as so we're my parents for wasting their money. He said he would buy me a ticket as he wants to see me that badly - which he did and obviously I was thankful. He just kept mentioning that he's spent a lot, worried he'll be low on money and that I must pay my own way when I come on holiday and that it's fair if I pay for some of his food expense. It sounds like he wants us to be level, which at the end of the day is fine yet if I had that original ticket, my parents would have spent 1k plus other money for me while I'm away. I doubt he would level me up and spend 1k on me. Anyway I and my parents don't have an issue with this. Fast forwarding to one conversation we were having one night as he may be working overseas for 6 months, he mentioned he wants me to come and study there yet he cannot pay for me. That I would have to essentially pay for my own expenses such as living expenses (not education)
Also when he's spoken about marriage before, he's said that if it's possible, it would be cheaper if we lived with his parents for some time being. Obviously I would do anything if I want our relationship to work even if I believe it would not be a happy dynamic.
I've politely brought this up before that even though I understand we both are currently not working, I feel somewhat offended. In regards to the money - it sometimes feels like a contract and that he has an issue with spending money, on me. He was a bit defensive at first then kept reassuring me that once he works, he will pay for everything.
Ps I am not that traditional in a sense where I believe the man should ALWAYS pay. I hope my point is understood.
