My gf broke up with me and says she needs some time apart from me.

I've met this girl 2 years ago at a restaurant, we both worked there as part timers. The first day I saw her i already had a crush on her. It took another half year before we really got to know eachother. And from that day on i knew i had found my baby. she was everything i need to fill in that gap in my life.

All went well, we went into a relationship and we saw eachother almost everyday. however, as time passes we argued more and more (in the course of 1.5 year) I also got a few arguments with her father which only added to the frustrations i already had.

5 weeks ago she broke up, even after all those fights i didn't expect her to do that. So leaving me stranded :( The thing is that i already was in a depression where she was my only person to hold on to not to fall of the cliff. After she broke up i feel more lonely then ever in my life before. However it has been weeks now i am feeling more down with every passing day. I don't feel like going to college anymore, and slowly all my friends, family and ppl around me start to notice my absence.

One of the causes to make me feel more miserably as each day passes is because she said there is might possibly still be a chance between us, she just needs time to sort things out. Well, from that day on i did some really stupid things. Like calling her almost everyday, all the things you shouldnt do.
Now things look very black ( we argued even more on the phone) and i just cant think about anything else anymore. Like i am obsessed. i dont feel like going to college or talking to anybody anymore. in short: i don't feel like living at all!

I have come here to ask for some advice, because i really don't know what to do anymore.

I don't get it. Why is it that you want to be with this person that you argue with all the time? If you can't get along, there isn't much you or she can do about it. You're just not meant for each other, and I promise there are others out there who are more suited to you. Take this as a learning experience, to know for the future how things start to go bad, so you can learn more about yourself and why these arguements occured. Just do your normal daily routine. Go to school, live your life as you have been, and I promise things will get better. Believe me, 90% of this board knows this story 100 times over. Things get better, so don't think you can't keep living or anything like that. Roll with the punches.

What Debunkt said. Just go about your daily routine and keep yourself busy. Don't sulk in front of the tv etc. Go out and meet new people...hang out w/ buddies..etc.

The problem with infatuation is that it makes you believe ONE person is extraordinarily more unique than anyone else. Fact of the matter is we all look pretty much alike when seen from the rear, walking away.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

The problem with infatuation is that it makes you believe ONE person is extraordinarily more unique than anyone else. Fact of the matter is we all look pretty much alike when seen from the rear, walking away.

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Ouch.

Get out, get busy, and date others. Even if you don't feel like it. Don't wallow. This is the best advice.

uhmm no it wasnt a matter of infatuation :S in fact, however we argued a lot i also got the most wonderful time of my life with her. Can't say that from my other gf's in the past (and not to be cocky or something but i had quite a lot)

i think i will just have the "no contact" advice, though it will be very difficult at the least and i wonder if i will manage it to keep it that way

wooooow....I was in the exact same situation 2 years ago.
1.Stop calling, smsing or emailing her
2.Don't talk to her friends about her because the WILL tell her and she will freak out
3.Give yourself space. Have 'you-time'.
4.Everytime you think of her make yourself stop. It's doing more harm than good.
5.Good luck.You will move on and you will be ok

well well well... another problem that i can relate to. first, the arguing. i will admit that it has to happen to build a stronger relationship through compromise. however, you two shoulnd't be arguing all the time. when a relationship gets close to an end, you'll notice that a lot of couples tend to argue more often because of the higher tension.

what you really need to ask yourself, is if this girl is really worth all the time, effort, and b*tching that you will endure for the next however many years of your life. if she is then by all means, **** what everyone else will say and go for her. however, if you need that you will not last forever and a day with her, then you're only wasting your time.

raverboy

Do you exercise? Work up a sweat? Start doing that every day. It will help, I promise. It's a mood elevator and will make you feel better about yourself and the world in general.

exercising, ye thats one od the things i heard many times, but instead i started smoking since last week (i quitted over a year).

And yes, she is definitely worth going for, even if i had to give up everything. But i am so afraid losing her permanently.

I don't care for other women(i have 1 girl who is crazy about me and to be honest looks better then my ex, but thats not the point), there is only one for me. I know some people would say, u are insane, get over it, give urself time and move on to the next. Well, if i would do that i will never get rid of the feeling that i have missed a certain aspect(unreplaceable of my life.

I wondered if there are people who had a similar experience and that worked out after one of the 2 broke up (but still loving eachother).

I've never had it work out after breaking up.

Don't smoke.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

The problem with infatuation is that it makes you believe ONE person is extraordinarily more unique than anyone else. Fact of the matter is we all look pretty much alike when seen from the rear, walking away.

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I agree with this post...That's what happens when you spend every single day together...You'll get over her...eventually.

we were together every single day because we felt good that way. beside, we did our own stuff and had our own friends and life (if u live together u see eachother everyday too) anyway, inflatuation is a entirely different matter. i have seen it and i am sure my feelings towards her aint this way.

My point is that every relationship needs space. If you're constantly around each other, no matter how good it may feel, things usually things start going downhill from there. You need to sort some things in your life and be clear on what you want to accomplish. You mentioned about being depressed before even getting together with her and it seems obvious that she helped you big time. What you have to understand is that nobody can help you but you, so that's what you need to work on before concentrating on her.