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Boyfriend who I have been dating for a short time asked me to take down pics we took on a trip together that i posted on social media. He said he didnt want ppl in our business...that he likes his personal life separate from social media...i have never experienced that. I want to believe what he says...what do you all think.
Odd, well I've never used social media, so not sure how valid my response will be, but if I had a GF that I really liked; I would certainly like everyone to know and would like people to see pics of us; of course I never actually had any long standing GF so this is just speculation. I think he may not being truthful to you with that kind of seemingly unusual request however.
CleanCut...thank u for your response...part of me is thinking the same. Im trying not to place so much emphasis on social media and if others see our pics...its about us...just was different than im used to. Other than social media he is a good bf. We are in the beginning of our relationship so we will see
I think he is not being honest to you. My ex and I had pictures together, he never put one of us as profile picture and was constantly worried about his and my profile being private......long story short....he had been cheating for two years.
Thank you Prin1982. I dont wanna jump the gun and say this is the case with him. We just got in a relationship...i will attempt to post pics later and see his response...my eyes will surely be open...this is the only area where im looking side eyed...we will see as the relationship progresses
Hi [MENTION=85406]Prin1982[/MENTION]Quote:
Originally Posted by GaPeach [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thanks for your post.
Firstly, I agree with you - try not to jump the gun here.
I'm going to come from a slightly different angle here. There was actually a time a while ago where I had just started dating someone and she wanted to put some photos on FB of us and I told her the same thing. I wasn't seeing anyone else, I just simply wasn't sure where the relationship was heading for me at the time and I didn't want it to be all official and have all my friends joke around and tear me to shreds on FB :-) I was extremely sensitive about things being put on FB.
Even though we live in a social media age and lots of people love it, tonnes of people hate it and want to stay away from it. So just remember that it could very well be that.
I have to say this - do stay vigilant about other possibilities but try not to fret about it or anything like that.
I hope all that makes sense.
Any questions, please let me know.
Thanks
Sri
My gf was dating a guy from another country for awhile and he wouldn't let her put up pics of him, or him and her on her yahoo messenger at the time as her display picture and would never put up any of her on his EVER and wouldn't even put he loved her, or happy birthday to her... Later found out he still had ex's on that account and was messing around with them on there and didn't want anyone being any the wiser to the other person... Sneaky f uck. Same guy wouldn't let her put any pics of them up on her social media either, or let her add anyone he knew onto hers. All very secret. Told her when he gave her pics never to share online either.
I think this early, I would sort of agree that it is at least something to keep an eye on that MAY be a concern.... but for now I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. You say you two have only been dating for a short time. As shrah pointed out, maybe he's just a little private when it is so early in a relationship. He may not necessarily want pictures of him and you (or anybody he would date) posted all over social media when it is still too early to know if you are going to last. That, I could understand. If I were even able to GET a date in the first place I think I'd feel the same way. I wouldn't want to mention it to my friends and family, much less have us posted all over social media, until we are at least more serious as a couple.
Now, if you two had been dating for a while.... were already exclusive.... were considering yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend.... If even with all that he still didn't want any pictures posted of you two.... yeah, that I'd consider a huge red flag. It's one thing if he doesn't want to be super-showy about it. That I can understand. Even at times when I HAVE had a serious relationship.... I don't like to be "one of those people" who basically throw my relationship in everybody else's faces and constantly posts super sappy lovey dovey photots of us all the time.... But yet I DO want to sometimes posts pictures of us. That person is a part of my life. If they are the right person, possibly the most important part of my life. So, I don't want to ignore them on my social media like they don't exist.
But, again, if I were just newly dating somebody, I probably wouldn't want them on my social media or me to be on theirs either. Not yet. So, I definitely DO agree with what some of the others have said about the possible warning signs behind this.... but I think given that you two haven't yet been dating long this is more just something to keep an eye on rather than something to consider a huge glaring red flag right now. Could be he has a secret gal on the side and doesn't want her to know.... could be you are currently his one and only but he just isn't ready to go "Facebook official" as the kids are calling it these days. Wide range of possibilities, so I think this soon it is too early to tell.
Good luck!
Thank u all for your responses...he and i have established that we are in a relationship...bf/gf. I have met family, including mother and his young daughter and his friends. We are definitely a couple. It makes no sense to me to ask me to take pics down that werent even intimate ones. They were fun pics...i will give it a little time and see. He said there is no one else. His actions line up with someone who isnt involved with someone else othet than social media...mind he has had pics on his page of his previous mate whom he wad with over 10 years. No pics posted of any other woman since her. They broke up in 2015. Dont know if that relationship did something to him or what.
Okay, then maybe you will have to clarify what you mean by you've been dating "a short time." Because, to me, dating a short time does not generally equal you've had the exclusive talk.... you are boyfriend/girlfriend.... you've met each others friends and family, etc.
Because, frankly, that could very well change my feelings on the matter. How long have you two been dating, and how long have you two been exclusive? Again, if you were really still in the "just dating" phase then I would understand fully him not wanting to have you two posted on social media. If you two have been dating long enough AND are now exclusive then.... yeah, I agree that is fishy if you ask me. I can understand if doesn't want every intimate aspect of your lives posted all over the net.... but I could never understand people who refuse to post ANYTHING about the relationship basically like the other person doesn't exist. They are an important part of your life. So, if you use social media, they shouldn't be completely ignored by it. I mean, granted, you shouldn't go the exact polar opposite. Just about everybody finds it extremely annoying when people go overboard posting about their relationship.
But, you shouldn't feel like it is so private that you can't post anything about it AT ALL. I've never understood that, and I'd be wondering the same thing if I were you. If you two ARE exclusive, then that would feel suspicious to me as well. I guess the end result would still be the same, though, which is to talk to him about it. Not in any accusatory way, but just as two calm, mature adults hoping to gain an understanding of each person's feelings on the matter.
IF he has ulterior motives for not wanting anything about you two posted online, believe me, you'll eventually find that out anyway. So, no need to jump to conclusions. Though,I too would at least be concerned given the further information you've shared that you two are, in fact, at the point of considering yourselves official.