Long distance break up...devastated at the moment
Hi everyone, I thought I will turn to you guys to vent and maybe get some perspective.
In short I met this guy at the beginning of August and it was beautiful from the start. I never felt so at ease and peace with anyone else from the first meeting. I am usually stressed out and anxious what to talk about but with him it was amazingly smooth and comfortable. I did not feel stressed one. We did not play games, we said straight away we really like each other and we want to keep seeing each other. He said he loved me first not that long after. He had a hard time before he met me and he was happy as I brought happiness and color to his life, he would do anything for me, stand by until I say otherwise, he sense peace from me and can share everything comfortably...I know i was not perfect girlfriend, I had issues on my own I was afraid to share. but not due to him, it was my own anxieties rather. Then the time came I was sick of the job so I left and ulimately the country. We would discuss this, he would follow me. I said sorry for leaving so abruptly and he would always reassure me we will handle this together and do whats best for us. We would fight couple of times, I would cry he would be rude about this and apologize. The day finally came, I went home. It was good. We would skype, write do all those LD couples do. I came to visit him for a week not long after. And again everything was good. We were joking, talking and planning my next trip. Up until the day of the break up. He said he have thought about this a lot and we both know what is coming but I am afriad to talk about this...and he has to be the bad guy. He said he cannot let me wait for him for who knows how long (he needs resdence permit to leave the country) that the situation is extreme and there is nothing I can do to help. I was willing to come back for a certain amount of time until its settled that I made a mistake leaving in the first place, but his mind was set. He wouldn't allow me to do this to myself again as i have made a decision about this place. That he loves me very much, and does not or cannot cut me off from his life just like that. but since 3 weeks ago is not talking. I wrote to him asking if we could talk this through...silence. I don't know maybe he is coping with the situation like this. He broke up because of this with his ex, the distance but also they were fighting a lot. But with us it was good. There was passion and chemistry...it just hurts sooo much that he decided to give up and let me go that easy. Without discussin what does not clikck in our relatioship and work on this. on his issues as well. I miss him so much it hurts, i cry all the time and want to scream. The hard part is I haven't seen him since 1st of March...in person at least. I did not have a chance to touch him one last time, hug him or kiss him...Next month I would be visiting him. Why he was so reassuring of his love and willingness to make it work if he wanted to end this just like that? I was not prepared for this. I hope I will be able to start getting better. I am a mess..worse with each passing day as I realize I will never again be in his arms. kiss his lips, nose. Bruch through his hair. He was the first one I was so attracted to, loved with all of my heart for who he is. I hope this silence breaks soon (although he is very stubborn). I woul leave everything now and jumb on the plane to go to him run to his arms and say love you and want to be with you, want to work on this...
Thank you for reading.
