Funny story:
I double bagged a bitch in my car last night. It was cold, and we were scrunched up in the back seat all over our clothes, and she soaked everything back there. I had a copy of my rough draft term paper back there, and it was just ****ing mutilated when I checked. My back seat is still wet. Imagine that.
Oh, the funny part. I walked home and a used condom was stuck to my ass. My mom was like "What the hell is that????" and I was liek what? what? and then I made up a random story about how I was at this art dinner thing and I was walking out and people robbed me and pushed me into the street gutter, and the condom must have just stuck to my ass. It also explained why my clothes were soaking wet (because the girl squirted all over everything... I smelled like pussy though, and my mom obviously smelled the lie when I walked in the door.